“Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.”But are tears enough to chase away the pain of a break up? Most of us have been there. Some of us are there. And for sure, many of us will be there in the future. When the person you are in love with suddenly leaves you, you may think that your whole identity is shattered, and that you will never recover from the pain – but keep in mind, the sun will rise again, sooner or later.
Until then, here are some things you can do, to go through the painful post-breakup period a little easier.
First of all, don’t deny the breakup. It may seem difficult to accept that your heated love had such a chilling end, but the sooner you accept the fact that they’ve left you, the better it is. Don’t be self-pitying and don’t keep asking why – just try to get used to the idea that you’ll be single for now.
Don’t get close to the things your ex-love has left behind. Get rid of all the stuff they’ve left at your house, and all the presents you’ve been given for your birthday or for your 1- and-a-half-year anniversary. These objects bring you memories of the person that has hurt you, and every time you remember, you will start crying. I don’t suggest that you forget about them. After all, how can you forget someone you were in love with? It’d be like trying to remember someone you’ve never met. The best thing to do is to put all their things in a box and make sure that you‘ll lock it well in your closet. You can open it when you will be ready; when you will have got over then, and when this stuff can only make you smile.
Do cry! Crying may seem an obvious result of a breakup, but sometimes it’s not that easy to cry even though you really want to. But, what keeps us from crying? Denial of losing the one you love may be a reason. Sometimes it takes a while until you realize that they have made up their mind and won’t come back. Pride may be another. You might want to seem tough and prove to your friends (and yourself) that you don’t care. Stop being selfish and stubborn! Don’t hold your anger inside; by doing so, you will just be more stressed and snappy. Instead, release your pain. Let yourself cry! After a good cry, you will not only be relieved, but also be able to eat and sleep a lot easier (eating and sleep problems are very common after a break up). Notwithstanding the benefits of crying, it is still considered to be socially unacceptable. Unless you want to make a fool of yourself (and this will happen if you walk down the street and you sob every so often), avoid going to the places that remind you of them. Just stay home until you break into tears.
Spend time with your friends! No matter who left and how much you loved them, no matter how much you are hurt, it’s almost impossible to go through a break up without your friends. They are people who love you, and know you better than anybody. So, they will be willing to listen to you and help you. Your friends will always be there for you. They have seen you falling in love with the person that hurt you, they have heard your stories about your relationship, so they will support at this ugly period of your life. Don’t hesitate to follow them everywhere. If they ask you to go out any time of the day, it’s probably because they don’t want you to stay alone at home.
Don’t try to work harder unless you really love your job. It’s been said that in order to forget about something or someone that hurt you, a good solution may be to work harder and keep your mind busy. This is not good advice if you are one of those people who hate their job and just do it because they have to. Working harder at a job that doesn’t make you feel valued and appreciated will just lead you to add the “sucker who works 15 hours a day for a guy that I haven’t even met” label to your low self esteem list we usually make for ourselves after a break up – this and contains words like “hurt”, “abandoned”, “ugly”, “alone”. On the other hand, if you are one of those people who enjoy their job, working harder is an opportunity to be more creative, to earn some extra money and probably to find some happiness through it.
Do find a new hobby! A break up is an awesome opportunity to make a fresh start in your life. Your whole life has already turned upside down and the best thing to do is to make the best of it! Finding a new hobby is an enjoyable procedure, and will give you a good reason to wake up in the morning – you’ll have something to wait for. Don’t just stay at home watching TV. TV is not a hobby. Just ask yourself what it is that you like to do but you haven’t done it so far. Do you want to broaden your mind? Learn a foreign language! Do you want to feel more creative? Take acting classes! Do you just want to punch your ex in the face? Then you can vent your anger on the punching bag! Start practicing martial arts! Plus, getting started on a new hobby will not only give you a different perspective on your life and yourself, but it will also give you the opportunity to meet many new people who share the same interests and concerns as you. And, who knows? Maybe you will find someone that will make you smile again…