tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26113176189063031422024-03-05T11:28:07.574-08:00Adventures of a Master DaterThe Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-51338908865681324862011-03-03T06:47:00.000-08:002011-03-03T06:47:39.544-08:00How to Get a Man to Make the First Move | eHow.com<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/cm/marieclaire/images/man-looking-at-womans-legs-lg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://www.marieclaire.com/cm/marieclaire/images/man-looking-at-womans-legs-lg.jpg" width="400" /></a></div></div><a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html?sms_ss=blogger&at_xt=4d6fa9a985674e8e%2C0">H</a><a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html?sms_ss=blogger&at_xt=4d6fa9a985674e8e%2C0">ow to Get a Man to Make the First Move | eHow.com</a><br />
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</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Getting a man to make the first move can be easy if you send the right signals and if you don't come on too strong. Whether you're on your first date or your fourth, getting a kiss or more without being the one to make the first move can be very simple.<span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
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Read more: <a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html#ixzz1FY3GpaCS" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #003399; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">How to Get a Man to Make the First Move | eHow.com</a> <a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html#ixzz1FY3GpaCS" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #003399; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html#ixzz1FY3GpaCS</a></span></span></div></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-9840053585822571152011-02-28T06:57:00.000-08:002011-02-28T07:08:32.094-08:005 signs she’s into you<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT4TxjvjG5zkk--CEx_posXNq3eOpIczpVMyJGjCGS2PBDgM2hg&t=1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT4TxjvjG5zkk--CEx_posXNq3eOpIczpVMyJGjCGS2PBDgM2hg&t=1" width="400" /></span></a></div><h1 class="articleHeadline" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 25px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><a href="http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=6687&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=730915&trackingid=526214&bannerid=683695">5 Signs She’s Into You</a></span></h1><h2 class="articleAuthor" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 8px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">By Cate Mitchell<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">You and a pretty redhead are tucked away in a corner table at that impossible-to-get-into new French bistro. And lo and behold, you notice she’s laughing at your jokes, twirling her hair, and giving other crystal-clear signs she’s into you. Or is she? Problem is, it can be hard to tell sometimes whether a woman is truly interested or just going through the motions. But luckily, there are plenty of ways to tell the difference. The signs below are the real deal.<br />
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<b>1. She touches herself up</b><br />
If she’s excusing herself to the restroom between courses, it’s doubtful she has a weak bladder. Nope, more likely she’s in there freshening up her makeup or making sure her hair is in place... all for you. “If she’s into you, she’ll be concerned with how she looks,” says Alison James, author of the forthcoming<i>Better Off Wed?</i> “Or, if she’s at the table, she’ll be fixing her shirt or brushing her hair back, maybe checking that her bra strap isn’t showing or adjusting her necklace — the kind of stuff you do when you’re worried about your appearance.”<br />
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<b>2. She asks about your family</b><br />
“When a woman likes a guy, she doesn’t want to get to know just him,” says Jillian Straus, author of <i>Unhooked Generation: The Truth About Why We’re Still Single</i>. “She wants to know about his family and friends — she’s looking for clues about what life with him would be like.” Indeed, especially if you’ve been set up or are on a blind date and know very little about each other, your relationship with your family says a lot about you — and a woman interested in you won’t hesitate to probe. “I think family is very revealing about a person’s personality,” says Tina Andreadis, 35, of New York City. “If he’s close with his family, it shows that he’s probably a warm person who values relationships and who would want a family of his own. If I am not interested in him, I won’t even ask because I just don’t care.”<br />
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<b>3. She’s attentive</b><br />
Let’s put it this way: no matter how busy she is, she’s not whipping out her BlackBerry if she’s interested in what you have to say. “If she’s not checking her watch, email or cell phone, it’s just one more sign that she’s paying attention to you,” says James. “When you like a guy, you’re hanging on his every word. When you don’t, you’re distracted easily.” Same goes for any preoccupations she has with the immediate environment, whether she’s people-watching or admiring the restaurant décor or even the food. If she’s saying things like, “This restaurant is beautiful. Hey, doesn’t that girl over there look like Marisa Tomei?” she may be enjoying herself, but not necessarily because you’re there.<br />
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<b>4. She’s touchy-feely</b><br />
If you find your date engaging in a little physical contact along with witty banter, chances are you’ve made a very good impression. From tapping your knee to emphasize a point or touching your forearm to get your attention, if a woman’s attracted to you, she won’t hesitate to reach out and let you know. Megan, 35, from New York City, employs this trick with guys she finds attractive. “I pretend to steady myself when I don’t need to be steadied,” she says. “When I’m climbing onto a stool, I’ll grab onto his shoulder or leg when I clearly don’t need to,” she laughs.<br />
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<b>5. The date lasts longer than you expected</b><br />
Ask any woman desperate to wind down a date, and she’ll tell you she skips dessert or declines an after-dinner stroll. Naturally, then, if she’s having a great time and doesn’t want to see you go, she’ll gladly take the waiter’s suggestion and try the chocolate cake, or join you in the cab ride home. And if you’ve agreed to meet for coffee and after a few sips she takes you up on your offer of dinner? That’s a bright green light, my friend. “Only if I’m into the guy will I agree to go to dinner if he suggests it on a ‘meet for coffee’ date,” says Diana, a 38-year-old from Boston. “If I’m meeting a guy and I’m not into him, I’m definitely not going to agree to get food after.”<br />
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So now that you know the signs that she’s really enjoying your time together, use them! Ask her for another date, have a goodnight hug or smooch... and things should move in a most positive direction.<br />
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<i>Cate Mitchell is a freelance writer in New York City.</i><br />
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Article courtesy of Happen magazine, <a href="http://yahoo.match.com/magazine/index.aspx" style="text-decoration: none;">www.happenmag.com</a>.</span></span></h2>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-74321011990258165342011-02-25T05:22:00.001-08:002011-02-25T05:22:29.070-08:00Pizza, Pizza<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://foodies.blogs.starnewsonline.com/files/2009/10/pizza.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="http://foodies.blogs.starnewsonline.com/files/2009/10/pizza.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good." ~ Unknown</span></span></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-2420649803551205012011-02-24T09:42:00.001-08:002011-02-24T09:42:46.218-08:00Psychology Today: Too Much Miscommunication in Your Relationship? A Simple Fix<h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="color: #c4c4c4; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font: normal normal normal 22px/normal Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.75em; position: relative;"><br />
</h3><div class="post-body entry-content" style="color: #c4c4c4; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 490px;"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://istepforth.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/mis-communication.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #980000; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://istepforth.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/mis-communication.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: black; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; border-width: initial; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 1px; padding-right: 1px; padding-top: 1px; position: relative;" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">An interesting find on PsychologyToday.com</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201102/too-much-miscommunication-in-your-relationship-simple-fix" style="color: #980000; text-decoration: none;">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201102/too-much-miscommunication-in-your-relationship-simple-fix</a></div></div></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-74127399422977311072011-02-11T04:20:00.001-08:002011-02-11T04:22:07.873-08:00OkCupid Study: The Best Questions For A First Date<h4 class="wanna_know" style="color: #f83265; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 2px;">Okay, if you want to know...</h4><h2 class="wanna_know" style="background-color: #eeece1; color: #948a54; font-family: georgia; font-size: 2.4em; font-style: italic; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.2em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 50px; padding-left: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-top: 50px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">Will my date have sex on the first date?</h2><h4 class="should_ask" style="font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f83265; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Ask...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Do You Like the Taste of Beer?</span></h4><h4 class="heres_why" style="color: #f83265; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 2px;">Because...</h4><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Among all our casual topics, whether someone likes the taste of beer is the <u>single best</u> predictor of if he or she has sex on the first date.<br />
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Read the entire article at <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;"><a href="http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-best-questions-for-first-dates/">http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-best-questions-for-first-dates/</a>.</span></span></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-78407957249781629832011-02-09T06:08:00.000-08:002011-02-09T06:14:12.918-08:00Expressions Of Affection and Sex Differences<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.impactlab.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/kiss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://www.impactlab.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/kiss.jpg" width="323" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">In the hit 1978 song, "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand sing of two lovers' sadness over their dying relationship.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">The two lovers in this song notice that doing such things as bringing flowers, touching each other, and even chatting about the day's events, do not appear to be the priorities that they had once been. These <i>expressions of affection</i> (various means by which love is communicated to another person) contribute to the overall atmosphere of love in a given relationship. In fact, research suggests that the informed and deliberate use of expressions of affection has a profound impact on marital satisfaction. In the song above, the couple could, as a result of a failure to express affection, feel the relationship falling apart. Many people, particularly married couples, relate to this song because they have experienced this tragic loss of relational satisfaction on some level.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">John Gottman has researched this phenomenon of relationship dissolution for over twenty years. He has predicted (1994), with 94 percent accuracy, whether or not a couple will stay together. According to Gottman, the main indicator of whether or not a couple will stay together is what he calls a 5:1 ratio between <i>positive moments</i> and <i>negative moments. Positive moments</i> are those subjective feelings of love experienced by one spouse that are directly due to the actions of the other spouse. <i>Negative moments</i> are those occasions when one of the partners feels unloved due to the actions (or inactions) of their spouse.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;">Gottman suggests that the people who are dissatisfied with their relationships and wish to dissolve them do so because they find that the negative moments in the relationship have more impact than the positive moments. Even if there are more positive than negative moments, if the ratio is not great enough, the relationship will be strained. This is primarily the result of the greater impact that unexpected negative moments have on a spouse as opposed to expected positive moments. After all, who marries anticipating feeling unloved? People expect the positive moments and relish the expressions of affection that they receive from their partners, and reel from the negative moments that appear to come, seemingly, out of nowhere. Therefore, according to Gottman, each person needs to experience a larger percentage of positive moments to negative moments in order to feel a sense of satisfaction in the relationship and a desire to maintain it. This is exemplified in the song quoted above.</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif;"><br />
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Read more: <a href="http://family.jrank.org/pages/52/Affection.html#ixzz1DTFl8P3X" style="color: #003399; text-decoration: none;">Affection - Expressions Of Affection, Sex Differences And Expressions Of Affection, Marital Satisfaction - Moments, Negative, Relationship, Positive, Song, and Spouse</a> <a href="http://family.jrank.org/pages/52/Affection.html#ixzz1DTFl8P3X" style="color: #003399; text-decoration: none;">http://family.jrank.org/pages/52/Affection.html#ixzz1DTFl8P3X</a></span>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-21869768090907943682011-02-01T06:11:00.000-08:002011-02-01T06:13:57.285-08:00How to Get a Man to Make the First Move<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.lifestyletransformations.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/how-to-get-a-womans-phone-number-11.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://www.lifestyletransformations.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/how-to-get-a-womans-phone-number-11.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><h1 class="Heading1a" id="nointelliTXT" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">By</span> <a class="jsNoFollow" href="http://www.ehow.com/members/ds_choffm26522.html" rel="http://www.ehow.com/members/ds_choffm26522.html" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; cursor: pointer; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Chelsea Hoffman</a>, <span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">eHow Contributor</span></span></h1><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
Read more: <a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html#ixzz1CiUeL3ZE" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; cursor: pointer; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">How to Get a Man to Make the First Move | eHow.com</a> <a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html#ixzz1CiUeL3ZE" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; cursor: pointer; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html#ixzz1CiUeL3ZE</a></span></span><br />
<div class="intro FLC" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; clear: both; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="info" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; float: left; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 1575px;"><div class="Details" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div id="intelliTxt" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font: normal normal normal 14px/1.3em arial; line-height: 1.3em; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Getting a man to make the first move can be easy if you send the right signals and if you don't <br />
come on too strong. Whether you're on your first date or your fourth, getting a kiss or more <br />
without being the one to make the first move can be very simple.<span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span></div></div></div></div><div class="article FLC" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; clear: both; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="sectionTitle FLC" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; clear: both; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="difficulty" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Difficulty:</span> Easy<br />
</span></div><h2 class="Heading1a Underline header" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 25px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-bottom-width: 7px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Instructions</span></span></h2></div><ol id="intelliTxt" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li id="jsArticleStep1" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; clear: left; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font: normal normal normal 14px/1.3em arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="stepNumber" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">1 Make eye contact with your date. Looking into his eyes while you're talking to one another will show him that you are <a class="itxtrsta itxthook" href="http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html#" id="itxthook0" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 100, 0); border-bottom-style: solid; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-style: initial; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; bottom: auto; cursor: pointer; display: inline; float: none; font-style: inherit; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; left: auto; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static !important; right: auto; text-align: left; text-decoration: underline; top: auto; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: normal;"><span class="itxtrstspan itxthookspan" id="itxthook0w0" style="background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; bottom: auto; display: inline; float: none; font-style: inherit; font-variant: normal; font-weight: inherit; left: auto; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; position: static; right: auto; text-align: left; top: auto; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: normal;">paying</span><span class="itxtrstspan itxthookspan" id="itxthook0w1" style="background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; bottom: auto; display: inline; float: none; font-style: inherit; font-variant: normal; font-weight: inherit; left: auto; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; position: static; right: auto; text-align: left; top: auto; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: normal;"> </span><span class="itxtrstspan itxthookspan" id="itxthook0w2" style="background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; bottom: auto; display: inline; float: none; font-style: inherit; font-variant: normal; font-weight: inherit; left: auto; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; position: static; right: auto; text-align: left; top: auto; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: normal;">attention</span></a> to him.</span></div></li>
<li id="jsArticleStep2" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; clear: left; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font: normal normal normal 14px/1.3em arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="stepNumber" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">2 Play with your hair while you're talking to each other. Twirling a strand or two with your fingers while your <a class="itxtrsta itxthook" href="http://www.ehow.com/how_5489491_man-make-first-move.html#" id="itxthook1" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 100, 0); border-bottom-style: solid; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-style: initial; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; bottom: auto; cursor: pointer; display: inline; float: none; font-style: inherit; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; left: auto; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static !important; right: auto; text-align: left; text-decoration: underline; top: auto; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: normal;"><span class="itxtrstspan itxthookspan" id="itxthook1w0" style="background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; bottom: auto; display: inline; float: none; font-style: inherit; font-variant: normal; font-weight: inherit; left: auto; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; position: static; right: auto; text-align: left; top: auto; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: normal;">eyes</span></a> meet his may send him the signal to make a move.</span></div></li>
<li id="jsArticleStep3" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; clear: left; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font: normal normal normal 14px/1.3em arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="stepNumber" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">3 Suck on a piece of candy like a Blow Pop. The suggestive act may distract him and it will be hard for him to not make the first move afterward.</span></div></li>
<li id="jsArticleStep4" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; clear: left; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font: normal normal normal 14px/1.3em arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="stepNumber" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">4 Put your head on your date's shoulder. If you're sitting next to him at a movie or on a couch, let your head rest to the side softly so that it touches your shoulder. The innocent gesture could inspire him to take things further.</span></div></li>
<li id="jsArticleStep5" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; clear: left; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font: normal normal normal 14px/1.3em arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="stepNumber" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">5 Instigate a conversation about making the first move. Conversation usually drifts to the topic of dating, so passively noting that you usually don't make the first move could stick in his memory.</span></div></li>
</ol></div><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
</span>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-24938515108913313192011-01-28T04:05:00.000-08:002011-01-28T04:06:02.428-08:005 Things Single Women Hate To Hear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://static.bigstockphoto.com/thumbs/0/9/2/large/2905890.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://static.bigstockphoto.com/thumbs/0/9/2/large/2905890.jpg" width="265" /></a><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.52em !important; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Every time she hung out with her single female friends, the same gripes surfaced. Enough already with the how-to-snag-a-guy advice streaming from anyone and everyone as soon as status single was announced, they said.</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.52em !important; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Suddenly, Karin Anderson, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at Concordia University Chicago, found herself keeping track of what these <a href="http://www.yourtango.com/20072408/top-5-single-girl-getaways-to-find-yourself" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">single women</a> were saying, replacing the strict academic research techniques she was used to with more informal polling.</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.52em !important; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What she found was a deluge of well-meaning advice being issued to singles that, while offered with the best of intentions, not only wasn't working but was making singles' skin crawl."</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.52em !important; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This article was written by Julie D. Andrews. Read the full article at <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;"><a href="http://www.yourtango.com/200914986/5-things-single-women-hate-hear">http://www.yourtango.com/200914986/5-things-single-women-hate-hear</a></span></span></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-31317429378531703712011-01-25T05:14:00.000-08:002011-01-25T05:15:04.654-08:0010 Things You Need To Know About Bad Boyfriends-- At Any Age<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaxKTCxKkbzVCtE3U_ZFEySrA17W3JzgRxS2ZVLo4EKvjKHOKHV69yOvKVTNd_Q2UUQBcZQm6jOYoiSJozDv8cNG-ddDxpyPgEZPg1ZlUf7UCKMHplY5NJ5HeN0EkWN8Ju4UW5-Nt0Ingq/s400/David-and-Goliath-Boyfriend-Posters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaxKTCxKkbzVCtE3U_ZFEySrA17W3JzgRxS2ZVLo4EKvjKHOKHV69yOvKVTNd_Q2UUQBcZQm6jOYoiSJozDv8cNG-ddDxpyPgEZPg1ZlUf7UCKMHplY5NJ5HeN0EkWN8Ju4UW5-Nt0Ingq/s400/David-and-Goliath-Boyfriend-Posters.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">For many reasons (let the evolutionary psychologists have a party tonight explaining why) women are attracted to Bad Boyfriends the way moths are attracted to the electric bug zapper. And they end up in pretty much the same condition: burnt out."<br />
<br />
This article was written by Gina Barreca, PHD - Read the rest of this article at </span></i><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/snow-white-doesnt-live-here-anymore/201101/10-things-you-need-know-about-bad-boyfriends-any-age">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/snow-white-doesnt-live-here-anymore/201101/10-things-you-need-know-about-bad-boyfriends-any-age</a></span>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-64892600091486310442011-01-21T04:38:00.000-08:002011-01-21T04:38:49.549-08:00How To Spot A Single Woman<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/34166-single_woman_30_happy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="363" src="http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/34166-single_woman_30_happy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Imagine a world where all the singletons had an "S" etched onto their foreheads and all the unavailable people had a "T" (for taken) on theirs. Wouldn't that make the world a happier place? Well, it would surely become uncomplicated, especially for all the woman-hungry men venturing out to find an equally eager woman.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Yes, the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">pickup</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">world would be an easier place in which to survive; but let's face it, part of the challenge (and fun) is knowing who to target and discovering whether they'll take the bait.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">You'll still have to brush up on your</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">pickup techniques</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">, charm and smooth moves, but in the large pool of fish that is the female world, I'll help you determine if she's ready for the taking or swimming with some bigger sharks. It's then up to you to throw her the line and reel her in.</span></span><br />
<h2 style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Available Or Not?</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Unfortunately, we don't live in a world where our dating availability is conveniently marked on our foreheads. (If you've been single all your life, this should make you breathe a huge sigh of relief.) Figuring out whether or not she's single takes more detective work, and it may not be determined in just one sitting.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Remember that there is no one giveaway to whether or not she's single -- you'll need to look for several hints to determine the truth.</span></span><br />
<h2 style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Affirmative: She's Single</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><b style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">She's full of eye contact</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">There's a difference between a single woman and a serial</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">flirt</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">(the serial flirt may have a boyfriend, but she teases every man that comes within range). Unless she's a chronic people-watcher, if her eye contact is darting all over the room as if looking for potential mates, you may be able to checkmate her.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Women who are already attached usually don't bother looking around the club (unless they're looking for someone they know in particular), as they go to bars with no intention of meeting men and don't need to check out the merchandise.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><b style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">She's making eye contact with you and smiling </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Eye contact is usually one of the first signs of interest, and if she's making intense eye contact with you from across the bar, then chances are she wants you to head on over and give her a try.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><b style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">She's talking to every guy in the bar</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">If you see her talking to many guys from a distance, it may mean that she's open to conversation, therefore, it's your cue to go up to her and find out all about her ways.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><b style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">She looks at other couples with sadness</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you're observing her from afar and you notice her looking at other couples, she could be longing for the days when she was once also attached. That's where you come in.<br />
<br />
<b style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Her body language says it all</b><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />If you're familiar with the dating game, then you surely know that body language can say a lot about a person, and if she has a boyfriend, then chances are she won't be twirling her hair and touching other men ever so casually. If you muster up enough courage to approach her, try to observe what her body language is saying:</span></span><br />
<ul style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Arms crossed, standing back: "Get away or I'll kick my heel in your face."</span></span></li>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">
<li style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Touches your arm or leg subtly, or her own arm (she wants you to touch her): "Let's keep talking."</span></li>
</span></ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><b style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">She's a chatterbox</b><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />If you start talking to a woman you work with, for example, and in one conversation she tells you that she has a dog named Max, does a lot of cooking, goes to the gym every week, and takes art lessons, chances are she doesn't have a man to come home to. The two tip-offs? She has a lot of time on her hands and does a lot to keep herself busy. And she's very open and friendly when it comes to you.</span><h2 style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">More Signals She's Single</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It's more difficult to know whether a woman is single in only one meeting; it can take several encounters to figure it out on your own. With these tips, you'll eventually be able to put two and two together.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><b style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Out with the girls... again</b><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />Unavailable women do go out and have fun with their girlfriends, but they have to make some time for the men in their lives. If you see the same girl out with her friends more than once at the same bar, within a short period of time, chances are she's flying solo.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><b style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">She dances with other men</b><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />If the two of you frequent the same club and she's often seen dancing with different men (but you know she came with the same group of female friends she always comes with), it's likely that she's dancing to her own tune, unless her and her boyfriend have a very "open" relationship.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />Single women who are actively looking for a man are more likely to branch away from their friends and remain open to romantic possibilities. When you catch her on her own or back with her group of female friends, make your move.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><b style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">She's overly friendly</b><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />Don't get us wrong, but attached women tend to be less friendly with other men; they give off a more standoffish attitude when approached. Whether you're at a bar or at the gym, and you notice that a woman is very sweet and friendly with most men she encounters, it's possible that she's single. Her attitude can be an indication of her status.</span><h2 style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Spot A Single Woman With Stealth</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">You don't need to run through this list mentally to establish whether or not she's single; you can always find out for yourself by approaching her and asking for her number; she may say she already has a boyfriend, and whether or not that's true is a tossup -- but it's always worth a try.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />If she says she's already taken, ask her how her boyfriend could bear to let her go out when all the guys must be after her -- you can always see if she's telling the truth by her reaction to this one.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />This becomes more complicated when dealing with a female colleague or someone you see often, since you don't want to come right out and ask if she's romantically involved or not. In this case, you can use the aforementioned hints as clues to her status.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />So if the signs point to her being single, then gather up all your courage, head her way and work your magic. And if she rejects you, just assume she's already taken -- you have bigger fish to fry.</span></span>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-1576486553147021672011-01-20T06:05:00.000-08:002011-01-20T06:18:36.350-08:00The Perils of Playing House<div style="font-family: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://foreverloyal.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/children_s_play_house1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="http://foreverloyal.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/children_s_play_house1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Living together before marriage seems like a smart way to road test the relationship. But cohabitation may lead you to wed for all the wrong reasons -- or turn into a one-way trip to splitsville.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Forget undying love or shared hopes and <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/dreaming" title="Psychology Today looks at Dreaming">dreams</a> -- my boyfriend and I moved in together, a year after meeting, because of a potential subway strike. He lived in Manhattan, and I across the river in Brooklyn. Given New York City taxi rates, we'd have been separated for who knows how long. And so, the day before the threatened strike, he picked me up along with two yowling cats and drove us home. Six years, one wedding and one daughter later, we still haven't left.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Actually, if the strike threat hadn't spurred us to set up housekeeping, something else would have. By then, we were 99 percent sure we'd marry some day -- just not without living together first. I couldn't imagine getting hitched to anyone I hadn't taken on a test-spin as a roommate. Conjoin with someone before sharing a bathroom? Not likely!</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">With our decision to cohabit, we joined the mushrooming ranks of Americans who choose at some point in their lives to inhabit a gray zone -- more than dating, less than <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/marriage" title="Psychology Today looks at Marriage">marriage</a>, largely without legal protections. Thirty or 40 years ago, cohabitation was relatively rare, mainly the province of artists and other questionable types, and still thought of as "living in <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/morality" title="Psychology Today looks at Morality">sin</a>." In 1970 only about 500,000 couples lived together in unwedded bliss.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now, nearly 5 million opposite-sex couples in the United States live together outside of marriage; millions more have done it at some point. Some couples do choose to live together as a permanent alternative to marriage, but their numbers are only a tiny fraction: More than 50 percent of couples who marry today have lived together beforehand. (At least 600,000 same-sex couples also cohabit, but their situation is different, since most don't have the choice to marry.)</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">"It's not this bad little thing only a few people are doing," says University of Michigan sociologist Pamela Smock. "It's not going away. It's going to become part of our normal, typical life course -- it already is for younger people. They think it would be idiotic not to live with someone before marriage. They don't want to end up the way their <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/parenting" title="Psychology Today looks at Parenting">parents</a> or older relatives did, which is divorced."</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In my and my husband's case, the pre-matrimonial experiment seems to have worked out well. But according to recent research, our year of shacking up could have doomed our relationship. Couples who move in together before marriage have up to two times the odds of <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/divorce" title="Psychology Today looks at Divorce">divorce</a>, as compared with couples who marry before living together. Moreover, married couples who have lived together before exchanging vows tend to have poorer-quality marriages than couples who moved in after the wedding. Those who cohabited first report less satisfaction, more arguing, poorer communication and lower levels of commitment.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Many researchers now argue that our penchant for combining households before taking vows is undermining our ability to commit. Meaning, the precautions we take to ensure marriage is right for us may wind up working against us.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">From toothbrush to registry</span></strong><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Why would something that seems so sensible potentially be so damaging? Probably the reigning explanation is the inertia hypothesis, the idea that many of us slide into marriage without ever making an explicit decision to commit. We move in together, we get comfortable, and pretty soon marriage starts to seem like the path of least resistance. Even if the relationship is only tolerable, the next stage starts to seem inevitable.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Because we have different standards for living partners than for life partners, we may end up married to someone we never would have originally considered for the long haul. "People are much fussier about whom they marry than whom they cohabitate with," explains Paul Amato, a sociologist at Penn State University and one of the theory's originators. "A lot of people cohabit because it seems like a good idea to share expenses and have some security and companionship, without a lot of commitment."</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Couples may wind up living together almost by accident. "People move in their toothbrush, their underwear, pretty soon a whole dresser," says Marshall Miller, coauthor with his partner, Dorian Solot, of <em><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple</span></em>. "Then someone's lease is up and since they're spending all their time together anyhow... "</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Or, two people may move in together without a firm future plan because one partner isn't sure the other is good marriage material: He drinks too much; she gets really nasty during fights. Rather than commit, they take a trial run. Once they've shacked up, relatives start noodging: "So when are you going to get married already?" At friends' weddings, people ask, "When will it be your turn?"</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">"There's an inevitable pressure that creates momentum toward marriage," says Amato. "I've talked to so many cohabiting couples, and they'll say, 'My mother was so unhappy until I told her we were getting married -- then she was so relieved.'" On top of the social pressure, Amato points out, couples naturally start making investments together: a couch, a pet -- even a kid. Accidental pregnancies are more common among cohabiting couples than among couples who don't live together.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Once their lives are thoroughly entangled, some couples may decide to wed more out of guilt or <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/fear" title="Psychology Today looks at Fear">fear</a>than love. "I know a lot of men who've been living with women for a couple of years, and they're very ambivalent about marrying them," says John Jacobs, a New York City psychiatrist and author of <em><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">All You Need Is Love and Other Lies About <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/marriage" title="Psychology Today looks at Marriage">Marriage</a></span></em>. "What sways them is a feeling they owe it to her. She'll be back on the market and she's older. He's taken up a lot of her time." Women in particular may be afraid to leave an unhappy cohabiting relationship and confront the dating game at an older age. "If you're 36, it's hard to take the risk of going back into the single world to look for another relationship," says Jacobs.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Charles, a 44-year-old New Yorker (who asked that his name be changed), admits that in his 30s, he almost married a live-in girlfriend of three years for reasons having little to do with love. The two moved in together six months after meeting when his sublet came to an end. "I thought it probably wasn't the best idea, but it was so much easier than looking for an apartment," Charles says. "I told myself: 'Keep trying, and maybe it will work.'"</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Eventually his girlfriend insisted they either marry or break up, and he couldn't find the strength to leave. The two got engaged. Weeks before the date, Charles realized he couldn't go through with it and broke off the engagement. "Her father told me, 'I'm sorry horsewhips are a thing of the past,'" Charles recalls, still pained by the <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/memory" title="Psychology Today looks at Memory">memory</a>. Even now, he regrets moving in with her. "It was a terrible idea," he says. "You get entwined in each other's lives. If you're not sure you want to be entwined, you shouldn't put yourself in a position where it's definitely going to happen."</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Some evidence indicates that women have less control over the progress of the cohabiting relationship. She may assume they're on the road to marriage, but he may think they're just saving on rent and enjoying each other's company. Research by sociologist Susan Brown at Bowling Green State University in Ohio has shown there's a greater chance cohabiting couples will marry if the man wants to do so. The woman's feelings don't have as much influence, she found: "The guy has got to be on board. What the woman wants seems to be less pivotal."</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cohabiting men may carry their uncertainty forward into marriage, with destructive consequences. A 2004 study by psychologist Scott Stanley, based on a national phone survey of nearly 1,000 people, found that men who had lived with their spouse premaritally were on average less committed to their marriages than those who hadn't. By contrast, cohabitation didn't seem to change how women felt about their partners.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Based on this finding and others, Stanley, director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver and another originator of the inertia theory, believes women should be especially wary of moving in before getting engaged. "There are plenty of young men who will say, 'I'm living with a woman but I'm still looking for my soul mate,'" he says. "But how many women know the guy is thinking that way? How many women are living with a guy thinking he's off the market, and he's not?" Men also get trapped in troubled relationships, admits Stanley, but women are more likely to bear the brunt of ill-considered cohabitation decisions for the simplest reason -- they are the ones who have the babies.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The cohabiting type</span></strong><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The inertia theory is not the only way to explain why couples who move in before marriage are less likely to stick it out for the long haul. There may also be something specific about the experience that actually changes people's minds about marriage, making it seem less sacrosanct. "A couple of studies show that when couples cohabit, they tend to adopt less conventional beliefs about marriage and <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/divorce" title="Psychology Today looks at Divorce">divorce</a>, and it tends to make them less <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/religion" title="Psychology Today looks at Religion">religious</a>," says Amato. That could translate, once married, to a greater willingness to consider options that are traditionally frowned upon -- like saying "so long" to an ailing marriage.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Nonetheless, there's a heated debate among social scientists about whether the research to date has been interpreted properly or overplayed to some extent. Having a family income below $25,000, for example, is a stronger predictor of divorce in the first 15 years of marriage than having shared a premarital address. "Having money, a sense of an economically stable future, good communication skills, living in a safe community -- all of those things are more important," says Smock.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Because it's impossible to directly compare the effects of marriage and cohabitation, there's just no way to prove cohabiters' higher divorce rates aren't a side effect of their other characteristics, says psychologist William Pinsof, president of the Family Institute at Northwestern University. They may just be less traditional people -- less likely to stay in an unhappy marriage in observance of religious beliefs or for the sake of appearances. "Those who choose to live together before getting married have a different attitude about marriage to begin with. I think cohabiting is a reflection of that, not a cause of higher divorce rates," he says. One population of cohabiters also tends to have less money and lower levels of <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/education" title="Psychology Today looks at Education">education</a>, which in itself can strain a relationship.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In short, not everyone buys the idea that cohabitation itself is hazardous to your relationship. For some couples, it may serve a useful purpose -- even when it lacks a happy ending. About half of all cohabiters split up rather than marry, and many of those splits save the parties involved from rocky marriages, miserable divorces or both.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That's the attitude Amy Muscoplat, 34, a children's librarian who lives in Santa Monica, California, now has about the man she lived with several years ago. She and Mr. X had dated for nine months when they got engaged; a few months later she gave up her rent-controlled apartment by the beach, sold most of her furniture, and the two moved in together. "We moved in in August, and by early September he flipped out," she says. "We were supposed to get married in early November. The invitations had gone out, and then he changed his mind. Living together was the reality check for him, the mirror that made him go, 'Gosh, this might not really work for me.'"</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Though she and her family lost thousands of dollars when the wedding was called off, Muscoplat is <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/gratitude" title="Psychology Today looks at Gratitude">grateful</a> things fell apart when they did. If they hadn't moved in together, she says, "I think he might have been pushed to the same place at some later point, maybe some day down the road when I was pregnant. I have a <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/religion" title="Psychology Today looks at Religion">religious</a> take on it -- God was really watching out for me and I dodged a bullet."</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The debate over cohabitation is partly a rehash of the values and morals conflicts that tend to become political footballs in America today. But on one point, virtually all researchers agree: We need to understand the effects of cohabitation on children. Some 40 percent of all cohabiting households include kids -- that's somewhere close to 3.5 million children living in homes with two unmarried opposite-sex grown-ups.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cohabiting relationships, by their nature, appear to be less fulfilling than marital relationships. People who cohabit say they are less satisfied and more likely to feel depressed, Susan Brown has found. While the precarious finances of many cohabiters has something to do with it, Brown also points to the inherent lack of stability. Long-term cohabitation is rare: most couples either break up or marry within five years. </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">"Cohabiters are uncertain about the future of their relationship and that's distressing to them," she says.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">As a result, cohabitation is not an ideal living arrangement for children. Emotionally or academically, the children of cohabiters just don't do as well, on average, as those with two married <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/parenting" title="Psychology Today looks at Parenting">parents</a>, and money doesn't fully explain the difference. The <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/stress" title="Psychology Today looks at Stress">stress</a> of parenting in a shakier living situation may be part of the problem, says Brown. "Stability matters. It matters for the well-being of children and adults alike," she adds. "We're better off with commitment, a sense that we're in it for the long haul."</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The must-have discussion</span></strong><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cohabitation rates may be skyrocketing, but Americans are still entirely enchanted with <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/marriage" title="Psychology Today looks at Marriage">marriage</a>. That's a sharp contrast with some Western societies -- Sweden, France or the Canadian province of Quebec, for example -- where cohabitation is beginning to replace marriage . In the United States, 90 percent of young people are still expected to tie the knot at some point.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Since most Americans are destined for marriage -- and a majority will live together beforehand -- how can we protect against the potentially undermining effects of cohabitation? Follow the lead of one subgroup of cohabiters: Those who make a permanent commitment to each other first. One study that tracked 136 couples through the initial months of marriage found that early intentions seem to make a big difference. About 60 of the couples in the study lived together before getting engaged, while the rest waited either until after they were engaged or after they were married to set up housekeeping. Ten months after the wedding, the group that had cohabited before being engaged had more negative interactions, less confidence about the relationship and weaker feelings of commitment than the other two groups. But the marriages of couples who had moved in together after getting engaged seemed just as strong as those who had moved in together after marrying.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Among other things, couples who get engaged before cohabiting probably have a clearer understanding of each other's expectations before they combine households. On that point, Mia Dunleavey, a 39-year-old online financial columnist living in Brooklyn, New York, can speak with the sadder-but-wiser voice of experience. In her late 20s, Dunleavey was involved with a man she hoped to marry. He reluctantly agreed to move in with her, spurred by the fact that his lease was running out, but he vacillated for so long about setting a wedding date that she finally ended the relationship. Soon after, she relocated across the country to move in with a new man she'd fallen in love with, only to find their living styles were utterly incompatible.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Back in New York again, she took stock. "I was terribly disappointed," Dunleavey says. "You have this faith that you're moving in with someone in order to deepen the commitment, and it doesn't necessarily happen at all. Those two things are not correlated.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">"At that point, I said, 'Never ever, ever again,'" she continues. "Living together is a waste of time and energy. The piece of china you'd gotten from your mother gets broken in the move. My living-together experience was a catalog of lost and broken things, never mind my heart."</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">When she fell in love again, she did things differently. She moved in with her intended just two weeks before the wedding -- because by that point, there was no question about their future together. "There was no take-it or leave-it," she says. "The commitment was the foundation of the marriage. Alas, my only experience of living with someone is that when you leave the door open for quasi-commitment, quasi-commitment is what you get."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Miller and Solot don't advise against cohabitation for couples without immediate plans to marry. But they do believe each partner needs to understand clearly what the other is thinking. "The most important thing is for people to treat moving in together as a serious decision, a major life choice," Miller says. "What does it mean to you both for the long and short term? If one person thinks living together means a quick path towards <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/marriage" title="Psychology Today looks at Marriage">marriage</a> and the other thinks it's just saving on rent and having a friend with benefits, there could be trouble. The important thing is to be on the same page."</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">As for my husband and me, we had this much going for us when we moved in together: We'd already discussed a lot of the important issues. We knew we wanted similar things: a family; a "for better or worse" kind of commitment; a partner who knew life had to stop on Sundays, when Six Feet Under or The Sopranos was on. Even before the ring, it was clear to me I'd found someone who'd be willing to work things through. And he has been.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Perhaps there's hope for us after all.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;">This article was written by Nancy Wartick, Phd and was taken from Psychologytoday.com</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-44854303580111167462011-01-19T04:45:00.000-08:002011-01-19T04:48:22.027-08:0010 Relationship Red Flags and Bad Girlfriend Warning Signs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.demotivationalpics.com/albums/userpics/normal_demotiv_pic_1080-signs-of-a-bad-relationship-not-talking_s600x600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="317" src="http://www.demotivationalpics.com/albums/userpics/normal_demotiv_pic_1080-signs-of-a-bad-relationship-not-talking_s600x600.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
Wondering if you're dating Ms. Wrong? Not quite sure if your girlfriend is the one for you? Are you searching for relationship warning signs? Just curious if your girlfriend isn't a good catch?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"><br />
Is so, you're not alone. Some common searches on</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">Google</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">are "is my girlfriend right for me",</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">"warning signs of a bad girlfriend", "signs of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">a bad relationship", and "relationship red flags."<br />
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Here are a few warning signs that your girlfriend isn't right for you.<br />
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<b><u>Relationship Warning Sign #1</u></b>: <i><b>She is constantly complaining.</b></i><br />
Is your girlfriend constantly criticizing other people? Does she complain about her family, roommate, or random people at the grocery story? If so, that is a big red flag.<br />
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Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a grouchy 'ole lady? It will only get worse as she gets older. Chances are, if she is complaining to other people about you frequently, more than likely she complains about you to others.<br />
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Now, there are some situations, say a bullying coworker, where it is understandable. But if she is constantly complaining about other people and life in general, she probably isn't for you. This is especially true if she complains about your family and friends.<br />
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<b><u>Relationship Warning Sign #2</u></b>: <i><b>She has lied to you.</b></i><br />
Lying is a big red flag. It is not healthy for anyone to lie in a relationship. I'm not saying you should definitely call it quits if she has lied to you, but you should take this very seriously. This is especially true if she has lied about her background, age, or health situation.<br />
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<b><u>Relationship Warning Sign #3</u></b>: <i><b>She doesn't share your religious beliefs.</b></i><br />
One of the biggest relationship mistakes is to date someone who does not share your religious beliefs. While it may seem to work, this can cause serious problems in a marriage. It is best to find a girl who shares your religious beliefs. In a relationship where the religious beliefs are not shared, someone usually will have to give in and leave their religious background.<br />
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<b><u>Relationship Warning Sign #4</u></b>: <i><b>She is trying to change you.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">Okay, this one is flexible. If she's trying to get you to <a class="link interlink" href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/topic/7995/quit_smoking.html" rel="&content_type=topic&content_type_id=7995" title="quit smoking">quit smoking</a> or stop drinking, that is understandable. But if she is trying to change you in other ways, and is nagging you, </span></b></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">you might need to think twice about the relationship. If she's not happy with you now, imagine how she might being thirty years or so when you're going bald.<br />
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<b><u>Relationship Warning Sign #5</u></b>: <i><b>She doesn't get along well with others.</b></i><br />
Does she not have many friends? Is the constantly fighting with her roommate, family and other people? If she doesn't get along well with others, it might be a sign the relationship won't last long.<br />
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<b><u>Relationship Warning Sign #6</u></b>: <i><b>She criticizes you in front of other people.</b></i><br />
Does your girlfriend criticize you in front of others over things like the way you hold your fork and are dressed? Does she point out your flaws to friends and family? If so, this is a big red flag she is not the one for you.<br />
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<b><u>Relationship Warning Sign #7:</u></b><i><b> She's very, very insecure.</b></i><br />
Does she incessantly put herself down? Is she very insecure with the way she looks? This is not the best sign in a good girlfriend. While it is possible she can change, it is toxic to be dating someone who is very insecure.<br />
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Relationship Warning Sign #8</u></b>: <i><b>She uses illegal drugs.</b></i><br />
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Do you really want someone who uses drugs to be the mother of your children? Will she be a positive influence on you? Think about it.<br />
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Relationship Warning Sign #9</u></b>: <i><b>She doesn't seem very interested in you. </b></i><br />
If she doesn't seem to be very interested in you, it might be time to talk to her about it. She's either very shy, or she's just not the one for you.<br />
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<b><u>Relationship Warning Sign #10</u></b>: <b><i>She doesn't seem to like your children.</i></b>If you have kids, and she complains about, or doesn't seem interested in your children, she is definitely not the one for you. And, if your kids have expressed that they don't like her, she is just not a good catch. It is very unhealthy to marry someone who won't be a mentor and positive role model to your children. You need to put your kids first. If you really feel she is the one for you, then wait until your kids are grown.<br />
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These are just ten red flags that your girlfriend is not a good catch. These signs don't necessarily mean it's time to end the relationship. Counseling might be beneficial. If you are wondering what are some of the bad relationship signs for men are, please read "<a href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/887383/20_signs_youre_dating_mr_wrong.html" target="_blank">20 Signs You're Dating Mr. Wrong</a>." <b><i>Best wishes!</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 23px;"><b><i>This article was written by Rachel Carpenter and was taken from <a href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2929808/10_relationship_red_flags_and_bad_girlfriend_pg2.html?cat=41">associatedcontent.com</a></i></b></span>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-83232966163108850862011-01-18T03:46:00.000-08:002011-01-18T03:50:37.112-08:00How Long Did She Wait To Have Sex?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
<a href="http://voices.mysanantonio.com/allweinortiz/Chastity+Belt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="http://voices.mysanantonio.com/allweinortiz/Chastity+Belt.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br />
Some girls give it up on the first date, others wait until your penis is so clogged with sperm that your brain can no longer concentrate on anything but. Whatever the case, how long she waits could be the "make it or break it" aspect of a relationship.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">Now please keep in mind that certain circumstances cause couples to become closer or break further apart despite how long they wait to have sex. Not everyone is hung up on waiting for a specific time frame or rather, any time at all.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">How about yourself and your significant other? Did she make you beg for it, or was she donning high leather boots and a whip off the bat? Well, if you've been in this situation before, what I'm about to reveal will likely come as no shock.</span></span><br />
<h2 style="line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Here Comes The Bride</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">Some girls will wait until their wedding night (although that seems to be happening less and less nowadays) to give up the goods. And although I must admit that this is quite admirable, couples who put off having sex for too long could be in for a huge disappointment.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">First off, just as healthy communication and common interests are important in a relationship, so is sexual compatibility. Imagine sleeping with her only to discover that her behavior in bed mimics that of an embalmed corpse. Or worse yet, a violent cavewoman.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">If she waits until your wedding night to give it to you, she's a respectable woman and hopefully, a virgin. Yeah, and what's up with that "secondary virginity" crap anyway? Hey, once that cherry's gone, it's gone for good.</span></span><br />
<h2 style="line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">As The Months Went By</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">There you were, you poor goof, waiting, wondering when that day would finally come that she would flash her garden your way and give you an open invitation to a private buffet. For months, all you were getting were some wet</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">kisses</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">and an occasional grope of a booby or two.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">Finally, after 181 days (you know because you've been marking the days down on the calendar), or six months, she finally welcomes you into her pleasure palace. And it's the best you've ever had. But if anyone has ever listened to Eddie Murphy's stand-up comedy, Delirious , they'll know it's like "crackers."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">If you're starving, and someone throws you a cracker, it'll probably be the most scrumptious cracker you've ever tasted -- the caviar of crackers if you will. But after months of the same thing, they begin to taste like ordinary soda crackers. So always keep in mind that creativity is key and it's up to both of you to keep the fire burning.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">Remember that this one's a keeper and she's a rational being who doesn't jump into things impulsively.</span></span><br />
<h2 style="line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The Three-Month Mark</span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">If your woman waits a couple of months or so, she's probably a very sharp woman who got to know you and felt that you and she were compatible on every level, thus sex will likely be excellent.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">Keep in mind that if you only went on two dates in two months, and she gave it up on the second date, then that doesn't mean she waited 2 months that means she waited two dates -- there's a huge difference.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">I figure that in two months you have probably gone out on about 8 dates and therefore got to know one another somewhat. This is probably the greatest amount of time to wait because you get to know each other enough to realize whether or not there's long-term compatibility and yet, there remains an element of</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">mystery </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">between the two of you.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">There's a good chance that this kind of gal has a great sex drive. And it's great that she took the time to get to know you, and let you get to know her -- outside the bedroom.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;"><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">What if it takes 3 dates... or less?<br />
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<h2 style="line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 21px;">One, Two, Three</span></span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">If a gal waited about three dates or so before she bedded you, it's a little too iffy to predict. A whole lot can happen in only a few dates, depending on what you did. If, for example, you went out to movies or loud dance clubs on all the dates, then chances are you probably don't know much about one another.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />It's quite easy to predict when a sexual relationship is purely about lust and infatuation rather than a genuine desire to get to know that person.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />On the other hand, if you went out to dinner, or for coffee or drinks together, then chances are that the two of you have communicated certain personal things to one another, and there may be more than just sexual heat stirring.</span></span><br />
<h2 style="line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">First Night Fling</span></span></h2><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 21px;">Although there are a rare few who have had first date sex and then a successful relationship, the majority of players who engage in this little game of sex tag right away are usually doomed from the get go. Perhaps most women are still labeled negatively when they engage in such acts, but it's hard for all of society, including women, to rid itself of this negative stereotype.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />A woman who beds you before you even discover that she has a cat named Bubbles and a huge crush on Adam Sandler is probably not going to end up being the ball to your chain.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />The obvious questions come into play: how many other guys did she do this with? How can she take sex so lightly? And then the usual "this was way too easy." Be careful, though, because nowadays women have become the aggressors, and it is quite possible that you'll end up being the one who feels cast-off.<h2 style="line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;">Everything But The Hole</h2>What about those women who refuse to let you insert, but will basically do everything else under the sun? The kind of women who think that if they let you smack it up, flip it and rub it down without penetrating her vagina, then she's still pure. My goodness, some people really have a distorted definition of "virginity."<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />So you get to stick it in everything but the garden is she worth planning a wedding for? Bloody unlikely. She's a horny girl, obviously, but isn't anything more than a kiss a little too much on a first date?<h2 style="line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;">If You Wait, They Will Come</h2>If you're dating a woman, why not take the high road and do the holding out yourself? I know, I know, that would require nothing short of dirty magazines and lots of lube, but she'll end up wanting you more than ever.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />Anticipation is the greatest aphrodisiac, and if you continuously give her small doses of the good stuff, she'll be hooked for good.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />It's obvious that there is no "right time" to wait before having sex because we're all different beings and our situations, as well, may also be dissimilar. But whatever the case, your best bet would be to wait and get to know your potential bedmate somewhat.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />After all, the last time I checked, sex was still a sacred experience.<br />
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This article was written by Vanessa Burton and taken from askmen.com.</span></span></span>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-16060466965868097452011-01-17T08:31:00.000-08:002011-01-17T08:31:54.840-08:00Translating Man Speak: What He is Really Trying to Tell You<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/7575575/2/istockphoto_7575575-man-talking-with-hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/7575575/2/istockphoto_7575575-man-talking-with-hands.jpg" width="338" /></a></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
There's an old joke about a wife who nags her husband, "Tell me how you feel." Finally, the husband blurts, "I feel...I feel...like watching television."</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The awful truth is, most men have no idea how they feel at any given time. Studies show that men use language to establish difference, separateness and independence (exactly the opposite of women, who talk to connect). So demanding that he talk to you is guaranteed to make him squirm and start rambling about whether new Cheerios really are improved.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are the answers and explanations to his biggest verbal 'Huhs?' (you'll be speaking like a native in no time). Take the cues from the following sections, so that you and your man can finally understand each other:</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What He Says When You're Dating</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">An at-a-glance guide to his love talk:</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A slew of research has established that men and women use language in different ways. For women, talk is the glue that holds relationships together. To men, conversation is a means, not an end. They don't even like talking to each other that much -- two guys can watch a game in silence for four hours and walk away feeling they've bonded. When men do use words, it's primarily doublespeak to stay on top. Here's how to make sense of the favorite phrases he uses for different stages of your union:</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When You're Dating</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: So maybe we could get together or something?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I think you're really hot and want to ask you out, but I'm too chicken to say so</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: Nothing about seeing you again</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: His mojo wasn't rising</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: You're a really good person</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: You'll never see him again</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: Let's be friends</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: You're not my type, but could you set me up with your hot friend?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: I'll call you</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I really mean to call but I'm scared you'll say yes, we'll go out and it will be a letdown. Or worse, what if it's not? Do I want to go through all the hassle of dating? Get married? Have kids? Aaahhhh!</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: We're dating</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: We've spent at least five nights together, at least one of which has ended in sexual contact. But in no way are we exclusive</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: We're seeing each other</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: It's down to you and one other woman</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: I think we should date exclusively</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I'm scared that if I don't make things more permanent, you'll date someone else</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What He Says When He Wants Sex</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: This is our third date, isn't it?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: Is it warm out or just me?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: What time do you go to work in the morning?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: You think it's true what they say about oysters?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I WANT SEX</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says (in the middle of a great orgasm): I love you</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I love that incredible thing you are doing with your finger/tongue/body right now</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says (immediately after making love): It'll be great to show you the house I grew up in (or anything else that smacks of the future)</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: Are you thinking about your ex and how much better he was than me?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: We haven't spoken for ages and I've been thinking about you</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I haven't gotten laid in almost three months</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: I'm not looking to get serious</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I just want a little nookie</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: How many guys have you been with?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I'm the best, right?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What He Says When He's Serious</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: I really like you</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I think I am falling in love but if I say that word, there is no going back</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says (in the middle of a date): It'll be great to show you the house I grew up in (or anything else that smacks of the future)</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: See Above</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: "Girlfriend" and he's not doing a Ru Paul imitation</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: You've made him breakfast, he fixed your car and his buddies aren't allowed to come on to you</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: Nothing's wrong. I'm fine</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: God, I know you want to talk about my day and all my interrelationships with my colleagues and boss and the guy who drives my bus, but I am at home now and I just want to drink 10 beers, eat a bag of chips for dinner and zone out</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: Maybe we need to slow down</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: Maybe you need to slow down</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: I don't know what I want</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I don't want you</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: I need some space</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: I'm about this close to dumping you but I haven't worked up the nerve yet</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: You're an amazing woman</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: You're an amazing woman</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He says: I love you</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He means: You make me incredibly happy whenever we are together. I think you may be The One.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What He Hears When You Speak</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men don't always hear everything you're saying, which means he's not always getting your message:</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You say (after being introduced): Do you know this band?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He hears: I want you now</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You say: What do you do?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He hears: Are you making enough money to make you marriage material?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You say: My ex is a crazy stalker who won't stop calling me. He scares me</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He hears: I'm still in love with my ex</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You say: What are we doing Saturday night?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He hears: I want all your time for the rest of your life</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You say (after making love): That was really nice</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He hears: That was the best sex of my life. Let's do it again!</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Top Lies He'll Tell You</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Be wary, if he says any of the following to you:</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I tried to call</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't get the message</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't notice what she looked like</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sex isn't the most important thing</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll be careful</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We'll talk about it later</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm not mad</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I could fall in love with you in a minute (wait a minute and ask him how he feels now)</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Learning to Talk Just Like Him</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How to talk to a man so he understands you:</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men can only take directions one at a time. So, if you want him to go into the kitchen and get you a cup of tea, make it a two-part request (this also applies to when you are in bed with him).</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When men bother to use words, it's to inspire action (whereas women communicate to bond). So if a guy insults another guy, he automatically thinks he wants to fight. And if you say you like his shirt, he thinks, "Cool -- she wants to jump my bones!"</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">University of Houston psychologists investigating why men keep things bottled up found it was to maintain power in a relationship -- when they don't talk, their partner is left guessing. You do the same and he'll be putty in your hands.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men don't want to talk about the relationship. They just want to do it (in his mind, if he didn't love you, he'd leave). Here's how he thinks: "If we need to talk about the relationship, it must be broken. If it's broken, it means it's doomed. I'm outta here."</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A man will say, "I'm fine," even when being tortured by Zulu warriors. It's in his nature not to reveal weakness because that betrays vulnerability, which comes off as lack of status, according to research by evolutionary psychologist David Buss. In short, he's worried you'll think he's a weed if he can't solve his problems without his Superwoman girlfriend coming to his aid.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How to Know He Loves You</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are certain words his tongue seems to trip over -- like "girlfriend," "love" and "commitment." But since men are action-driven, it's really more important what he does than what he says.You know your man really loves you if he:</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lets you drive his car (especially his new SUV)</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Assumes you're spending the weekend together</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Introduces you to his friends</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stops wearing his "If you're not wasted, the day is" T-shirt, because he knows you hate it</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Calls for absolutely no reason</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wants to talk after sex</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Things He Never Wants to Hear</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's what he really doesn't want to hear from you (and probably won't hear anyway):</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honey, we have to talk. No, YOU have to talk -- and talk and talk and talk</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are you thinking about?: His feelings, like his answers, will be simple. So if you are lying in postcoital comfort and he answers, "Pizza," he really means he is thinking about pizza and not that you have skin that resembles pizza or you look like you've eaten one too many pies in your life</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you think that girl is pretty?: He thinks that if he even hesitates to say no, it will kill his chances of sex that night -- or any other night</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to get married: He already assumes this is what you want, he just doesn't want to hear it. So you only have to notify him if this is NOT the case</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How do I look -- honestly?: Honestly, you look wonderful to him. That's why he's with you</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This article was written by Lisa Sussman and was taken from <a href="http://www.ivillage.com/translating-man-speak-what-he-really-trying-tell-you/4-a-283613">ivillage.com</a></span></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-88996845417654832502011-01-14T05:14:00.000-08:002011-01-14T05:14:06.902-08:007 Vital Choices for Happy Relationships<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"></span><br />
<h2 class="post-title" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: MuseoSlab, arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><cufon alt="7 " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 20px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 16px;"><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><cufon alt="Vital " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 20px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 59px;"><canvas height="22" style="height: 22px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -3px; width: 74px;" width="74"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="Choices " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 20px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 95px;"><canvas height="22" style="height: 22px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -3px; width: 110px;" width="110"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="for " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 20px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 46px;"><canvas height="22" style="height: 22px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -3px; width: 61px;" width="61"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="Happy " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 20px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 70px;"><canvas height="22" style="height: 22px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -3px; width: 85px;" width="85"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="Relationships" class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 20px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 152px;"><canvas height="22" style="height: 22px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -3px; width: 162px;" width="162"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon></span></span></h2><div class="post-main" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div class="post-content" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 40px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/In-Love.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-10183" height="333" src="http://tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/In-Love.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; max-width: 100%; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="In Love" width="483" /></span></a></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">by Lori Deschene</span></em></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~Lao Tzu</span></strong></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Ten years ago I thought I was going to marry my college sweetheart and become a young bride, which made it all the more devastating when happily ever after didn’t pan out. When we broke up, I felt literally like I lost a limb, complete with phantom sensations of his hand in mine.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It didn’t take long for a dark guilt to bubble up—a constant festering reminder of all the mistakes I’d made. I was highly unstable and insecure back then, and most of my relationships revolved around holding me up.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">In the ruins of that romance, I didn’t know what scared me more: that someone else might hurt me again or that I might hurt them enough first to deserve it.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">I simultaneously felt an aching need to fill in the hole where he’d been and an overwhelming sense of nausea at the thought of being with someone else.<span id="more-10180" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">For eight years I ping ponged from fling to fling and extreme to extreme—putting myself out there far too soon or completely hiding my <a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-love-your-authentic-self/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="How to Love Your Authentic Self">authentic self</a>; expecting mountains to move or anticipating the worst; choosing the wrong people and refusing to <a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/40-ways-to-let-go-and-feel-less-pain/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain">let go</a>, or choosing the right people and running away.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">In each case, I either burdened the guy with a body bag full of my fears and insecurities, or dragged it around myself wondering why dating felt so exhausting.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">I learned every lesson the hard way after first proving myself completely insane by doing the same things and over and over again and expecting different results.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">I’m now a little less than two years into a <a href="http://tinybuddha.com/featured/10-ways-to-have-peaceful-loving-relationships/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="10 Ways to Have Peaceful, Loving Relationships">peaceful, loving relationship</a>, and I realize the journey to this connection had more to do with loving myself than finding him. No relationship with someone else can ever compensate for secretly believing you don’t deserve it.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">While I by no means know everything, I feel the hard part isn’t knowing what makes a healthy, happy relationship but actually applying that knowledge consistently. It’s a lot easier to make a laundry list of lessons than it is to put them into practice, especially when heightened emotions are involved.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">So I’ve done something a little different to explore the different ideas that support healthy relationships. As I often do, I put a question out to the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/tinybuddha" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="Tiny Buddha on Facebook">Tiny Buddha Facebook page</a>: what’s the<a href="http://www.facebook.com/tinybuddha?ref=ts#!/tinybuddha/posts/155675937817125" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="Tiny Buddha Facebook Responses">key to a happy relationship</a>?</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">I took a sampling of the nearly 200 responses and grouped them into 7 tips. For each one, I listed a few simple ways to apply those ideas right now. If you’re not currently in a romantic relationship, a lot of these can still apply to the other relationships in your life.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/So-in-Love.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img alt="" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-10184" height="223" src="http://tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/So-in-Love.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px; max-width: 100%; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="So in Love" width="402" /></span></a></div><h2 style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: MuseoSlab, arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-size: small;"><cufon alt="7 " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 16px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 13px;"><canvas height="18" style="height: 18px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -2px; width: 26px;" width="26"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="Important " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 16px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 99px;"><canvas height="18" style="height: 18px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -2px; width: 112px;" width="112"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="Vital " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 16px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 48px;"><canvas height="18" style="height: 18px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -2px; width: 60px;" width="60"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="Choices " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 16px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 78px;"><canvas height="18" style="height: 18px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -2px; width: 90px;" width="90"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="for " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 16px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 37px;"><canvas height="18" style="height: 18px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -2px; width: 50px;" width="50"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="Happy " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 16px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 57px;"><canvas height="18" style="height: 18px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -2px; width: 70px;" width="70"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon><cufon alt="Relationships " class="cufon cufon-canvas" style="display: inline-block !important; height: 16px; line-height: 1px !important; position: relative !important; text-indent: 0px !important; vertical-align: middle !important; width: 129px;"><canvas height="18" style="height: 18px; left: -1px; position: relative !important; top: -2px; width: 141px;" width="141"></canvas><cufontext style="display: inline-block !important; height: 0px !important; overflow-x: hidden !important; overflow-y: hidden !important; text-indent: -10000in !important; width: 0px !important;"></cufontext></cufon></span></strong></h2><h3 style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: MuseoSans, arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-spacing: 2px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-size: small;">1. Practice self love first.</span></strong></h3><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It seems like you can only have happy relationships if you can be happy with or without them. ~Erika Gonzalez</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Know that it is not the other person’s job to make you happy. The only person who can do that is you! ~Christi Emmons</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The ultimate kicker: be honest with yourself about who you are. ~Kelly Bell</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Know that you can be yourself and still be accepted. The best relationship is when you bring out the best in each other, and you are purely content when neither has anything to say. ~Stephanie Schwenning</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Take it off the page:</span></strong></div><ul style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Make a list or mental note of all the <a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/30-things-to-appreciate-about-you/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="30 Things to Appreciate About You">things to appreciate about you</a>. Realize everyone has flaws, and there’s a lot more right with you than <a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-ways-i-know-theres-nothing-wrong-with-you-or-me/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="10 Ways I Know There's Nothing Wrong with You (or Me)">wrong with you</a>.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Work on forgiving yourself. The past is the past and you deserve to put it behind you, but no one else can let it go for you.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Be good to yourself today. Practice yoga, meditate, or take a walk.</span></li>
</ul><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong></span></div><h3 style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: MuseoSans, arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-spacing: 2px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-size: small;">2. Focus on compatibility.</span></strong></h3><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Be best friends first. ~Wendy Nicholson</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Have an incredible “like” for each other. ~Diane Bateman</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Have shared (or at least compatible) values and communication. Everything else can be forgiven, accepted, or put aside, however values are the root of how we relate to all beings. ~Frank Ra</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Find the person who inspires you to be a better you, and always encourage them to become the best them. ~Corinne Morrill</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Take it off the page:</span></strong></div><ul style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you’re single, do something social that you love. You’re more likely to meet compatible people if you get out there and foster your interests.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you’re in a relationship, spend some time sharing something you both enjoy. My boyfriend and I met at karaoke, so singing together is a great way to connect.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you’re in a relationship with someone and it always feels like hard work, ask yourself: are you trying to jam a square peg into a round hole? It can be scary to walk away from the wrong person, but it’s the only possibility of meeting someone who will feel right.</span></li>
</ul><h3 style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: MuseoSans, arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-spacing: 2px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-size: small;">3. Practice acceptance.</span></strong></h3><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Accept that not everyone or everything is perfect. We are all perfectly flawed. ~Simon Kirk</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Be non-demanding of your partner—partners don’t tell each other what to do. ~John Bigl</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Mutual adoration and acceptance of the differences that make each of you individuals are keys to a phenomenal relationship. ~Casey Kimes</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Happiness is a choice, as are all things in life. I choose to see and feel grateful for all of the best qualities in my partner, rather than focusing on shortcomings. ~Emily Roberts</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Take it off the page:</span></strong></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong></span></div><ul style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you feel yourself focusing on everything someone appears to be doing wrong, ask yourself if there’s something else upsetting you. It’s easier to blame other people than it is to look in ourselves, but oftentimes that’s where the problem is.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you feel like changing something about someone else today, ask yourself what change you can make in yourself instead. If you feel unappreciated, show appreciation. It’s more empowering and productive to show people how to treat us than to complain about what’s lacking.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If there’s something you just can’t accept, ask yourself if you’re willing to walk away because of it. We can’t change other people, but we can change our relationship to them.</span></li>
</ul><h3 style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: MuseoSans, arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-spacing: 2px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-size: small;">4. Have realistic expectations.</span></strong></h3><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Don’t expect it to be happy all the time. ~Stephanie Goddard</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Don’t sweat the small things and speak up when it really is important to you. ~Elizabeth Sadhu</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Remember that it isn’t always happy, but get through those not so happy moments together or apart, whichever is needed. ~Jessica Duff</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Keep realistic standards for each other. ~Ashna Singh</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Take it off the page:</span></strong></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong></span></div><ul style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-enjoy-the-journey-more-by-eliminating-should/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="How to Enjoy the Journey More by Eliminating the Word Should">Eliminate the word should</a> today—how a relationship<em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> should </em>work, how people <em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">should</em> act if they love you.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Notice when you’re projecting something onto the other person that has nothing to do with them, like a fear from a past relationship. Then make an effort to let it go.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Recognize when you’re looking for that person to do something for you that you need to do for yourself, like make you feel lovable or take care of your needs. Then release those expectations and do it for yourself.</span></li>
</ul><h3 style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: MuseoSans, arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-spacing: 2px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-size: small;">5. Be kind in words and deeds.</span></strong></h3><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Think about the person’s feelings before you speak or criticize them. ~Dana Brewer Covey</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Have a fast ear and a slow tongue. ~Mark Ward</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Have compassion and grow together, not apart, as the years go on. ~Krista Tverdak</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Love must be bigger and stronger than anything else. Never keep any record of your partner’s mistakes and faults and be ready to forgive. ~Mel Escobar</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Take it off the page:</span></strong></div><ul style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Make an effort to <a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/authentic-communication-3-tips-for-receiving-in-conversations/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="Authentic Communication: 3 Tips for Receiving in Conversations">really listen</a>—not just wait to talk.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">See the other person as if for the first time. It’s all too easy to take someone for granted. Really notice all the wonderful things they do, and let them know what you see.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you get frustrated with each other, ask yourself, “Will this really matter after I’ve cooled down?”</span></li>
</ul><h3 style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: MuseoSans, arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-spacing: 2px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-size: small;">6. Be honest.</span></strong></h3><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Talk about things that leave you vulnerable from the heart. ~Cheryl Floyed</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Compromise and dream together. ~ Becca Stinson</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">From my grandparents, who have been happily married for 60 years: the three C’s: caring, communication, and compromise. ~Emily Larsen</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Don’t sweat the small stuff, and if something really is bothering you talk about it in a calm controlled manner. Leave drama in the theaters and movies. ~Ben Reyna</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Take it off the page:</span></strong></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong></span></div><ul style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Open up about something that you’ve been keeping to yourself. It doesn’t have to be big and dramatic. People can only be there for us if we let them.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If something’s on your mind, express it without implying the other person is responsible for your feelings.</span></li>
</ul><h3 style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: MuseoSans, arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; word-spacing: 2px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-size: small;">7. Remember to act.</span></strong></h3><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">When you’re bored, do something about it. ~Ernie Somers</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Adjust to change. Adjust to moods, lifestyle changes, and new additions, and always remember to love. ~Elysia Cordero</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The rest comes and goes as we change and grow and struggle, but being able to laugh together brings you back together. ~Kerry Kokkinogenis</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Have rich individual pursuits and pursue things together. ~Laura Texera</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Take it off the page:</span></strong></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong></span></div><ul style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you haven’t in a while, take time to do your own thing today—completely on your own or with friends.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Take time to laugh together, whether it’s watching funny YouTube videos or trying something new together.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: circle; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you feel dissatisfied with your life, don’t assume it’s your relationship. What other adjustments could you make to feel happier with your place in the world? Maybe you need to take a small step toward a hobby or more fulfilling job.</span></li>
</ul><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">And lastly…</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Start over again and again. ~Miguel Angel Carrillo Infante</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It’s a new day–a new chance to practice giving and receiving love.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Some of the Facebook responses were slightly edited for spelling; some were part of longer responses with more detail. Photos <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/rachdavies/4736149146/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="Holding Hands">here</a> and <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/coolcal/2112098177/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></em></div></div></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-81995380095554680402011-01-13T04:43:00.000-08:002011-01-13T04:46:42.344-08:00Unconventional Relationships that Work<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/wp-content/uploads//longdistance-isne.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/wp-content/uploads//longdistance-isne.jpeg" width="400" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
Most of us grow up believing that love stories go something like this: Boy meets girl, boy and girl make a nicely matched pair so they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after in a cute home. Well, so much for fairy tales. More and more, today’s couples are making all kinds of off-the-beaten-path relationships work. So you and your sweetie are several decades apart age-wise? Got married but live on opposite coasts? Bring it on — this is the new face of love. And here we have three couples to tell you just how fun and fulfilling an unconventional kind of romance can be!<br />
<br />
<b>The age-gap relationship</b><br />
“I met Tom when I was 18 and he was 43. The ink on his divorce papers was still wet, and he was the father of two young kids. I wasn’t at all intimidated by his lifestyle and was instantly attracted to him — especially his sexy goatee. But I’d be lying if I said everyone in my life was in agreement with my decision to date a much older man — with kids. My father and mother caught us together, and they both thought we were insane. But our connection was there in a really deep way. A couple months later I started college, and Tom visited me on weekends and stayed over — in my dorm. At first I was really self-conscious about our age difference, so I lied to my roommates and told them he was in his 30s. We ended up getting an apartment together my sophomore year of college. Soon, my friends and family realized Tom and I were the real deal, and although it took time for the people in my life to adjust, they did. After three years of blissful dating, I got the ring! Now Tom and I are set to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary in October. As for my parents (Tom’s in-laws) — they love him; everyone gets along famously. In fact, we double-date often. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world! I have an adoring husband and two wonderful stepchildren. Even though I’m not their mom, I do help raise them. Our couplehood isn’t so conventional, for sure, when it comes to our age difference, but it’s a wonderful thing.”<br />
- Jennifer Leckstrom, 27, Tannersville, PA</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The coast-to-coast relationship</b><br />
“I’m a high school math teacher in Jersey with tenure. My wife, Ellen, teaches special education kindergarten. We initially taught in the same school system… until Ellen got a call from a colleague out in California. She asked Ellen to move out to the West Coast and partner with her in her brand new early education school for disabled kids. Ellen wanted to go — I didn’t. The opportunity was huge for her career, and the money was just as substantial for our family. She moved — with our seven-year-old daughter. Our love is real, sustainable and we see each other twice a month on weekends and everyday via a handy webcam — I help my daughter with her math every single night. Sometimes I think I might bite the bullet, quit my job and move out there. I’ve realized they won’t be moving back, since our daughter, now 14, is settled in her new life and my wife’s business is well-established and profitable. To be honest, I’ve never been hotter for my wife — I literally count the days until I am going to see her again. So while I probably will move there sooner or later, our thinking is: Why fix what isn’t broken? We are 150 percent committed to our marriage and child. We have no, er, ‘agreements’ — we’re faithful. We’re a happily married couple that lives a continent apart!”<br />
- Roger Wade*, 41, Mountainside, NJ<br />
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<b>The separate-quarters relationship</b><br />
“We’ve been married for 15 years, but we’d never still be together if we lived under one roof. My husband and I are very Oscar and Felix. I’m a slob, and he’s incredibly neat and anal. In addition, our tastes are very different. His place has a gloomy, scary Norman Bates thing going on; my place is very light, airy, don’t-worry-be-happy-ish. And then there’s also the matter of lifestyle. He is extremely noise-sensitive. My husband is a former opera singer and lives in what was once a music studio. So, his digs are soundproof. He sleeps well there but cannot sleep at my place. So we never moved in together. We do have two noisy six-year-old twin sons. It may seem odd, but we see each other every single day — he tucks the boys in at night, and we have the occasional sleepover for the obvious reasons. My belief is this: Marriage is hard enough, even if you do have the same taste in slipcovers. But when you have different tastes, why compromise it if you don’t have to? The common thing between us is love, and isn’t that the most important thing?”<br />
- Judith Newman, 40, New York City, author of <i>You Make Me Feel Like An Unnatural Woman</i><br />
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*name and location changed to protect privacy<br />
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<i>This article was written by Christine M. Coppa, who is a working single mom — it works for her! Check out her blog,</i> <a href="http://yahoo.match.com/www.glamour.com/lifestyle/blogs/pregnant" style="text-decoration: none;">“Storked!”</a>. This article was taken from Match.com.<br />
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Interested in taking Dr. Helen Fisher’s personality test? Visit <a href="http://www.chemistry.com/index.aspx?bannerid=2051906" style="text-decoration: none;">Chemistry.com</a> today!</span>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-81019444628986330382011-01-12T05:17:00.000-08:002011-01-12T05:17:32.342-08:00The Mathematics Of Beauty<h2 style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 2.4em; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.2em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 30px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal;">January 10th, 2011 by Christian Rudder</span></h2><div class="entry" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 1.8em; margin-top: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/DataSetCropped.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">This post investigates female attractiveness, but without the usual photo analysis stuff. Instead, we look <em>past</em> a woman's picture, into the reaction she creates in the reptile mind of the human male.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Among the remarkable things we'll show:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/List2.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px; width: 495px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Fair warning: we're about to objectify women, big-time. The whole purpose of this blog is to analyze OkCupid's data, and without a little bit of objectification that's impossible. Men will get their turn under the microscope soon enough. As usual, none of this (with the exception of the celebrity examples) is <em>my</em>opinion. All data is collected from actual user activity.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="section_break" src="http://cdn.okcimg.com/blog/gaystraight/SectionBreak.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 30px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 30px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Let's start at the beginning.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">All people, but especially guys, spend a disproportionate amount of energy searching for, browsing, and messaging our hottest users. As I've noted before, a hot woman receives roughly <strong>4×</strong> the messages an average-looking woman gets, and <strong>25×</strong> as many as an ugly one. Getting swamped with messages drives users, especially women, away. So we have to analyze and redirect this tendency, lest OkCupid become <a href="http://www.plentyoffish.com/" rel="nofollow" style="font-weight: bold; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">sausageparty.com</a>.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Every so often we run diagnostic plots like the one below, showing how many messages a sampling of 5,000 women, sorted by attractiveness, received over the last month.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Outliers.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">These graphs are adjusted for race, location, age, profile completeness, login activity, and so on—the only meaningful difference between the people plotted is their looks. After running a bunch of these, we began to ask ourselves: what else accounts for the wide spread of the <strong>x</strong>'s, particularly on the "above-average" half of the graph? Is it just randomness?</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">What is it about her:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/ComparisonHigh.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">that gets more attention than her:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/ComparisonLow.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">...even though according to our users, they're both good-looking?</span></div><h4 style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5em; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Not all 7s are the same</span></h4><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It turns out that the first step to understanding this phenomenon is to go deeper into the <em>mathematically</em> different ways you can be attractive.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">For example, using the classic 10-point 'looks' scale, let's say a person's a <b>7</b>. It could be that everyone who sees her thinks exactly that: <em>she's pretty cute</em>.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/AllGive72.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">But something extreme like this could just as easily be going on:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Split72.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If all we know is that she is a <b>7</b>, there's no way to tell. Maybe for some guys our hypothetical woman is the cat's pajamas and for the rest she's the cat Garfield. Who knows?</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">As it turns out, this distribution of opinions is very important.</span></div><h4 style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5em; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Celebrity photos: to titillate <u>and</u> inform</span></h4><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Let's look at what the <b>ratings distribution</b> might be for a couple famous people. I imagine that for, say, the actress Kristen Bell it would be roughly like this:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/KristenBell.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Ms. Bell is universally considered good-looking, but it's not like she's a supermodel or anything. She would probably get a few votes in the 'super hot' range, lots around 'very attractive', and almost none at the 'unattractive' end of the graph.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Compare her to Megan Fox, who might rate like this:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/MeganFox2B.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">On the far right, you have the many dudes who think she's the sexiest thing ever. On the far left, you have the small number of people who have seen her movies.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Unlike Ms. Bell, Ms. Fox produces a strong reaction, even if it's sometimes negative.</span></div><h4 style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5em; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Real People</span></h4><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Now let's look back at the two real users from before, this time with their own graphs. OkCupid uses a <b>1 to 5 star</b> system for rating people, so the rest of our discussion will be in those terms. All the users pictured were generous and confident enough to allow us to dissect their experience on our site, and we appreciate it. Okay, so we have:</span></div><table style="padding-bottom: 20px; width: 495px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/user1.png" /></span></td><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/user2.png" /></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">As you can see, though the average attractiveness for the two women above is very close, their vote patterns differ. On the left you have consensus, and on the right you have split opinion.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">To put a fine point on it:</span></div><div class="footnote" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeece1; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-top: 20px;"><ul style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-left: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; text-indent: -10px;"><li style="margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 7px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Ms. Left is, in an absolute sense, considered slightly <strong>more attractive</strong></span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 7px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Ms. Right was also given the <strong>lowest rating</strong> 142% more often</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 7px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">yet Ms. Right gets <strong>3×</strong> as many messages</span></li>
</ul></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">When we began pairing other people of similar looks and profiles, but different message outcomes, this pattern presented itself again and again. The less-messaged woman was usually considered <strong>consistently attractive</strong>, while the more-messaged woman often created <strong>variation</strong> in male opinion. Here are a couple more examples:</span></div><table style="padding-bottom: 20px; width: 495px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/user3.png" /></span></td><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/user4.png" /></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><table style="padding-bottom: 20px; width: 495px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/user5.png" /></span></td><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/user6.png" /></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">We felt like were on to something, so, being math nerds, we put on sweatpants. Then we did some work.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Our first result was to compare the standard deviation of a woman's votes to the messages she gets. </span><span class="pull-quote" style="display: inline; float: right; font-family: georgia; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5em; max-width: 250px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 20px; padding-top: 20px; text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The more men disagree about a woman's looks, the more they like her.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">We found that the more men disagree about a woman's looks, the more they like her. I've plotted the deviation vs. messages curve below, again including some examples.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The women along the graph are near the <strong>80<sup style="line-height: 0;">th</sup> percentile</strong> in overall attractiveness. You can <span class="highlight" style="background-color: #ffff33; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 1px; padding-right: 1px; padding-top: 1px;">click the tiny thumbnails</span> to expand them.</span></div><div alt="click the thumb" style="background-image: url(http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/DevianceVsMessagesVsAttractiveness2.png); height: 386px; margin-bottom: 20px; position: relative; width: 494px;"><img class="thumb hot" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Woman1.png" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; height: 11px; left: 90px; position: absolute; top: 214px; width: 11px;" /><img class="thumb hot" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Woman2.png" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; height: 11px; left: 140px; position: absolute; top: 213px; width: 11px;" /><img class="thumb hot" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Woman3.png" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; height: 11px; left: 190px; position: absolute; top: 225px; width: 11px;" /><img class="thumb hot" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Woman4.png" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; height: 11px; left: 239px; position: absolute; top: 224px; width: 11px;" /><img class="thumb hot" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Woman5.png" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; height: 11px; left: 289px; position: absolute; top: 188px; width: 11px;" /><img class="thumb hot" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Woman6.png" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; height: 11px; left: 339px; position: absolute; top: 146px; width: 11px;" /><img class="thumb hot" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Woman7.png" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; height: 11px; left: 389px; position: absolute; top: 100px; width: 11px;" /><img class="thumb hot" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Woman8.png" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 112, 192); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; height: 11px; left: 438px; position: absolute; top: 77px; width: 11px;" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">As you can see, a woman gets a better response from men as men become less consistent in their opinions of her.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Our next step was to analyze a woman's actual vote pattern of <strong>1</strong>s, <strong>2</strong>s, <strong>3</strong>s,<strong>4</strong>s, and <strong>5</strong>s:</span></div><table style="padding-bottom: 20px; width: 495px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/userGraph1.png" /></span></td><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/userGraph2.png" /></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="footnote" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeece1; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; float: right; font-size: 10px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-right: -390px; margin-top: -100px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-top: 20px; width: 300px;"><h3 style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5em; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.3em; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 30px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If You're Into Algebra</span></h3><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">We did a regression on the votes for and messages to a sample of 43,000 women. To keep everything consistent, all the women were straight, between the ages of 20 and 27, and lived in the same city. The formula given in the body of the post was the best-fit we found on our second regression, after dropping the <em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">m<sub style="line-height: 0;">3</sub></em> term because its <em>p</em>-value was very near 1.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">msgs</em> are the number of messages the woman received during the observation period. The constant<em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">k</em> reflects her overall level of site activity. For this equation, R<sup style="line-height: 0;">2</sup> = .28, which isn't great in a lab or on a problem set, but is actually very good in a real-world environment.</span></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">This required a bit more math and is harder to explain with a simple line-chart. Basically, we derived a formula to predict the amount of attention a woman gets, based on the curve of her votes. With this we can translate <em>what guys think of a woman's looks</em> into how much attention she actually gets.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The equation we arrived at might look opaque, but when we get into it, we'll see it says some funny things about guys and how they decide which women to hit on.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/FormulaSmallBW.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The most important thing to understand is that the <em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">m</em>s are the men voting on her looks, making up her graph, like so:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/FormulaExplanationSmall.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">And those <em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">m</em>s with positive numbers in front <strong>contribute</strong> to messaging; the ones with negative numbers <strong>subtract</strong> from it. Here's what this formula is telling us:</span></div><h4 class="smaller" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 1.2em; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The more men who say you're hot, the more messages you get.</span></h4><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><em>How we know this—</em>the <em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">.9</em> in front of <em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">m<sub style="line-height: 0;">5</sub></em> is the biggest positive number, meaning that the guys who think you're amazing (voting you a perfect '5') are the <strong>strongest contributors</strong> to your messaging income. This is certainly an expected result and gives us some indication our formula is making sense.</span></div><h4 class="smaller" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 1.2em; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Men who think you're cute actually <em>subtract</em> from your message count.</span></h4><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><em>How we know this—</em>because the <em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">.1</em> coefficient in front of <em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">m<sub style="line-height: 0;">4</sub></em> is negative. This tells us that guys giving you a <strong>'4'</strong>, who are actually rating you above average-looking, are <em>taking away</em> from the messages you get. Very surprising. In fact, when you combine this with the positive number in front of the <em class="cambria" style="font-family: cambria; font-size: 1.3em; font-weight: bold;">m<sub style="line-height: 0;">1</sub></em> term, our formula says that, statistically speaking:</span></div><div class="footnote" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeece1; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: georgia; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; padding-left: 30px; padding-right: 30px; padding-top: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If someone doesn't think you're hot, the next best thing for them to think is that you're ugly.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Paradox.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">This is a pretty crazy result, but every time we ran the numbers—changing the constraints, trying different data samples, and so on—it came back to stare us in the face. In plain scientific terms, it was like a baby we were trying to drown had somehow grown gills. (This happens all the time in China.)</span></div><h4 style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5em; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">What We Think Is Going On</span></h4><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">So this is our paradox: when <em>some</em> men think you're ugly, other men are more likely to message you. And when some men think you're cute, other men become less interested. Why would this happen? Perhaps a little <strong>game theory</strong> can explain:</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Suppose you're a man who's really into someone. If you suspect other men are <em>uninterested</em>, it means less competition. You therefore have an added incentive to send a message. You might start thinking: maybe she's lonely. . . maybe she's just waiting to find a guy who appreciates her. . . at least I won't get lost in the crowd. . . maybe these small thoughts, plus the fact that you really think she's hot, prod you to action. You send her the perfectly crafted opening message.</span></div><div style="font-family: courier; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 20px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">"sup"</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">On the other hand, a woman with a preponderance of <strong>'4'</strong> votes, someone conventionally cute, but not totally hot, might appear to be more in-demand than she actually is. To the typical man considering her, she's obviously attractive enough to create the impression that <em>other</em> guys are into her, too. But maybe she's hot enough for him to throw caution (and grammar) to the wind and send her a message. It's the curse of being cute.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The overall picture looks something like this:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img class="centered" src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/PrisonersDilemmaBig.png" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 10px;" /></span></span><h4 style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', 'Lucida Grande', Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 1.5em; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Finally: What This Could Mean To You</span></h4><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">I don't assume every woman cares if guys notice her or not, but if <em>you</em> do, what does all the above analysis mean in practical terms?</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Well, fundamentally, it's hard to change your overall attractiveness (the big single number we were talking about at the beginning). However, the<strong>variance</strong> you create <em>is</em> under your control, and it's simple to maximize:</span></div><div class="footnote" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #eeece1; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: georgia; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Take whatever you think some guys don't like—and play it up.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">As you've probably already noticed, women with tattoos and piercings seem to have an intuitive grasp of this principle. They show off what makes them different, and who cares if some people don't like it. And they get lots of attention from men.</span></div><table style="padding-bottom: 20px; width: 495px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Tattoo1.png" /></span></td><td style="text-align: center;" width="50%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><img src="http://cdn.okccdn.com/blog/math_of_beauty/Tattoo2.png" /></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">But our advice can apply to <strong>anyone</strong>. Browsing OkCupid, I see so many photos that are clearly designed to minimize some supposedly unattractive trait—the close-cropped picture of a person who's probably overweight is the classic example. We now have mathematical evidence that minimizing your "flaws" is the <strong>opposite</strong> of what you should do. If you're a little chubby, play it up. If you have a big nose, play it up. If you have a weird snaggletooth, play it up: statistically, the guys who don't like it can only <em>help you</em>, and the ones who <em>do like it</em> will be all the more excited.</span></div></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-70120363438927390992011-01-11T05:22:00.000-08:002011-01-11T05:25:14.230-08:00How to Ask Someone Out: Get the Timing Right<div id="main-pagedata" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://internetrealestatesuccess.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/couplewithflowers-small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://internetrealestatesuccess.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/couplewithflowers-small.jpg" width="260" /></a></div></div><div class="articleleft" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 15px; padding-top: 0px; width: 510px;"><div class="contentrow" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div class="blogbody" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">When dating successfully, getting your timing right is one of the single most important factors. Timing in respect to the best time to ask a girl out, with respect to what night to ask her out first and even with respect to when in your lives you actually meet at all.<br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Looking back on my life so far I realize that when relationships didn't work out, it wasn't because the girls I dated were wrong for me. Most often it was because we simply met at the wrong time in our lives. To meet a great girl who wants to get married to you when you are 22 years old may just be wrong timing. Meeting a fantastic lady when you are working abroad or on a short contract in a different location may be bad timing. And meeting someone who wants children when you are not yet ready is again bad timing. Sadly, many of these situations can't be helped, because that's how life goes. The people we would have grown old with best are often the ones we encountered to early or at the wrong moment in time. One cannot go back and one cannot rekindle something lost in time, so we have to accept that bad timing does happen with all of us.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Some timing issues have more to do with events and life cicumstances. Like when we ask a girl out at just the wrong moment. We are attracted to someone and take the initiative or opportunity, only to discover that she got into a new relationship hree weeks earlier. Or that she has just broken up with someone and is not yet ready for a new relationship. Maybe there has been a family crisis and the girl you are interested in is not predisposed for a romantic encounter. Three times in my life I have met great girls just as they (or I) were relocating to a new city! On top of this if you add illness and many other factors, there are plenty of opportunities for getting your timing wrong and invariably this is not your fault. Just a fact of life.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If someone accepts your proposal of a date, then you can control the timing somewhat better. Your basic instinct is to go for a weekend because you won't need to go to work the following day and so can stay out later. Often there are more social events to go to at a weekend and more restaurants open and with better atmosphere. Clubs, bars and discos are all far more attractive at a weekend and offer many more possibilities of dating. Yet this may be a good example of bad timing.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">When dating you may want to think about the attractiveness of a week night which can work to your benefit. Weekends are often the only real free time people have got and many now plan their weekends well in advance. I do not like being on a strict schedule but again it is a fact of life in the early stages of dating. And I'lladmit that going on a date during the week takes away some of the glamour. Weekdays are fairly dull affairs in comparison and many are taken up with hobbies or commuting. But because they are also far less formal than a weekend, a first date on a weeknight can be seen as far more relaxed and informal.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Also, week day dates are usually not late night affairs, and an unsuccessful date can be gently brought to an end. So dinner after work may be a good thing after all. Also bear in mind that week nights can be dull and so a sparkling evening with you will do you and them no harm at all. In fact you are not competing with some other glamorous event the girl could have attended instead of being with you, so you are far less likely to face that troublesome contrast. Dating midweek also opens up the possibilities of more dates in a shorter amount of time and successful dates can quickly become longer prolonged weekend dates shortly afterwards.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">You can do a great deal to help yourself with disappointment when a girl says no to you. Be flexible in your arrangements. Always offer a girl a choice of dates and locations and understand when she has reasons for doing other things. All too often when someone says no you automatically assume you are being given an excuse and that the truth lies elsewhere. You assume too much. Let her know that you are interested in her and that when things are better for her in her diary , that you can make some arrangements. Always stress that you are busy too and this will add to your overall appeal. Remember that you too must never be too available otherwise it comes across that you are uninteresting, or even worse, desperate. We have all heard the fabled excuse "I can't, I'm washing my hair tonight." That could be true.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">On the other hand, lame excuses are just that, lame. They are meant to warn you off. And even though persistence may be a good trait, it doesn't often win the girl. The interest factor is at play there and when a woman makes to many lame excuses it shows her interest factor is low. If she was very interested, believe me she will move heaven and earth to meet you. Therefore it is essential that you get your timing right and ask a girl out when there is the greatest chance she will say yes. That does not mean you should prey on her when she is at her lowest ebb. When a girl says no and means it, you will know it. Coming on to her after that and you become a menace so simply move in. It is a numbers game my friend.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">If you are in a nightclub, timing again plays its part. Asking a girl to dance when she has just met up with a huge group of friends will receive a negative response even if she likes the look of you. On the other hand, intercepting her at the bar whilst her friend is in the bathroom may well prove perfect. Try reading the signals of the situation in a positive way. Asking a girl to dance at 1am as the club is about to play the last song will usually get you nowhere unless both she and you are desperate. And what basis is that or successful dating?</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">So, whilst being flexible and semi available, know your subject in advance and work out when she is most likely to be available if possible. If your timing is right, you could easily get lots of positive responses that will lead on to something more special. Not taking timing into account can have the opposite and most disheartening effect.</span></div><ul style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" type="disc"><li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Understand when a woman has good reason to say no</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Be flexible and offer an alternative when asking - are you free Thursday or Friday?</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Don't fight her excuses if she says no, just move on</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Always sound busy yourself</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Accept that some people you will meet at the wrong time</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Choose a weeknight for the first date</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Choose the right moment to apprach a date in a bar of nightclub</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Never be scared of asking, the more you ask the more confident you will be</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Try not to ask her out in the middle of a big group, choose your moment carefully for maximum effect</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Don't get annoyed if she says no - smile!</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Try and know as much about your date's circumstances in advance only if she is known to you already</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Work out the best moments to ask someone out</span></li>
<li style="background-image: url(http://www.topdatingtips.com/images/bullet.gif); background-position: 0px 6px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 7px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Don't ask her out when she is clearly busy or stressed or unhappy or not well</span></li>
</ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">This article was taken from <a href="http://www.topdatingtips.com/timing.htm">topdatingtips.com</a></span></span></div></div></div></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-35965940325154055162011-01-10T05:27:00.000-08:002011-01-10T05:28:32.455-08:00Love Analytix: The Female Dictionary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://socialmedianz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/confused_man1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://socialmedianz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/confused_man1.jpeg" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> <br />
In order for most relationships to work, communication is essential. And although most women and men are well aware of this, the differences in how we communicate can often cause signals to get crossed. Improving communication between males and females boils down to understanding and then accepting the different styles of communication, instead of trying to change it. Especially when it comes to understanding the language of women.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Generally speaking, female communication can be very difficult for men to decipher due to the complex way women express themselves. This complexity usually comes as a result of one of two reasons. First, women are usually far more detail oriented than men, who typically communicate by getting "straight to the point."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">For example, a woman could attempt to tell her man about a certain co-worker who is bothering her at work, and somehow the story leads her to tell him details about what the co-worker had on, how many children she has, and what she ate for lunch. Sometimes when women expresses themselves, they include excessive details which can makes it difficult for a man to pay attention or get the point she was trying to make.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">The other most common reason men find it difficult to understand the language of a female is that we don't always say what we truly mean. It's baffling for a man to hear a woman say 'yes' and mean 'no', or say 'no' but really mean 'yes'. So in an attempt to crack the code, here is a simple guide to understanding the language of women, or what we like to call the 'Female Dictionary.'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">'Nevermind, Forget It</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Usually said by a woman at her first level of anger and actually means you better NOT forget it, but quickly figure out what you did wrong and apologize before her anger escalates.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Ex: Did you get home at 4 am? Well you should of-- nevermind, forget it.</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">'Excuse Me?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">This is said as a response to something a female didn't like and also serves as a warning for a man to explain what he just said immediately or retract it all together.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Synonym: What the hell did you just say to me?</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">'I Love You</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Women do not really say this unless they truly mean it. So 'I love you,' simply means I love you.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
'How Are You And Your Girlfriend?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Women never really care about the other woman, so if she is posing this question she's subtly asking, "When are you two breaking up?"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Ex: Wow! We haven't talked since we dated two years ago, how are you and your girlfriend doing?</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">'I Didn't Hear My Phone</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Usually used as an excuse for when a woman doesn't want to speak with you. She heard her phone and she just didn't want to hear your voice.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Ex: What? You called? I didn't hear my phone, it was in my purse.</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">'It's Cool</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">When you do something wrong and gets a woman to a point where she is overtly calm and cool about the situation, approach with caution.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Ex: I passed by your house last night and I saw your ex's car there. No, you don't have to explain, it's cool.</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">'I'm Done</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Sadly, most women are bluffing when they say these words. Often times a woman is not emotionally equipped to end the relationship yet, and uses this phrase as a warning. It usually ends up meaning, "I'm trying to get your attention, and I'll allow you one more chance to make it right."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Synonyms: It's over, I can't do this, I give up.</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">'I'm Mad, I'll Just Talk To You Later</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Women love to talk and to communicate whether or not they are upset. If she says she no longer wants to continue the conversation, what she's really saying is that she wants you to initiate conversation. Either way, it's a request for the man to call or text to make sure she's okay.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
'I'm Not Looking For A Relationship</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">While some women would prefer to be single, most would never shun a good man unless past experiences have her in a bad place. This statement is actually a public service announcement for a man to know she's scared about being hurt again.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Synonyms: I'm just focusing on me, I'm sick of the BS</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">'Do You</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">She's past the point of any type of anger or frustration and has already made up in her mind that she's ready to move on. At this point she's already 'doing her' and no longer cares how you choose to behave.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Synonyms: Makes no difference to me, go right on</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
<br />
'I'll Be Ready In Five Minutes</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">'</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">The biggest lie a woman will ever tell. As women, we want to look nice for out man, while slightly making other women a little jealous. Five minutes at minimum will be at least another half hour.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Formula: For the correct arrival time, take the amount of minutes she says and add 20 minutes. </em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span id="internal-source-marker_0.4685227181009428" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><img align="left" alt="" border="1" hspace="4" id="vimage_3653944" src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.bvonlove.com/media/2010/12/shirea-photo-1291917386.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(230, 230, 228); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-color: rgb(230, 230, 228); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(230, 230, 228); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-style: initial; border-top-color: rgb(230, 230, 228); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; margin-bottom: 13px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 5px; margin-top: 4px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 5px;" vspace="4" /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Shirea L. Carroll</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">is a journalist who has written for Essence, VIBE, Washington Post's TheRoot.com, XXL's Juicy, and AOL. Reporting on everything from music and entertainment to celebrity and love, she has interviewed some of today's biggest celebrity names. Find the NJ native on her blog</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://inviteonly.wordpress.com/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal 1.1em/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Invite Only</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">, or follow her on Twitter</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://twitter.com/inviteonly" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font: normal normal normal 1.1em/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">@InviteOnly</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">to find out "who is and isn't invited."</span></span>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-59167850364920150562011-01-06T04:12:00.001-08:002011-01-06T04:16:19.704-08:004 Reasons Smart People Make Stupid Dating Decisions<div class="post-body entry-content" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 490px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #c4c4c4; text-align: center;"><a href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/pixmac-preview/dunce-cap-on-man-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #980000; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
<img border="0" height="400" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/pixmac-preview/dunce-cap-on-man-1.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: black; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; border-width: initial; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 1px; padding-right: 1px; padding-top: 1px; position: relative;" width="267" /></span></a></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><em><br />
"What was I thinking? How could I have gone out with him in the first place?"</em></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Lots of us have been there at least once in our lives. Sometimes it's indicative of a pathological relationship pattern but often it's just a function of common human tendencies that cloud the judgment of smart, healthy people with good</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/self-esteem" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #980000; text-decoration: none;" title="Psychology Today looks at Self-Esteem">self-esteem</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">. Here are four examples.<br />
</span></span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"></div><div style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><br />
1. We Lie to Each Other</span></strong><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> When you're attracted to someone it's normal to present a slightly embellished version of yourself since you want to be as desirable as possible. <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/social-networking" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; text-decoration: none;" title="Psychology Today looks at Social Networking">Online dating</a> studies back this up, showing that people routinely fudge their virtues a little in their profiles (especially height and income for men, weight and age for women). When newly <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/mating" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; text-decoration: none;" title="Psychology Today looks at Mating ">dating</a>, people also tend to play down their past relational wreckage and personal liabilities. Have you ever fudged "the number" when asked about your sexual history or not completely owned up to your own role in a messy break-up?</span></span></div><div><br />
</div><div style="color: #c4c4c4;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">When you're crushing on someone you also (unconsciously and consciously) begin to mirror your love interest's mannerisms and embrace his or her preferences to some degree. It's a normal part of the mating dance and adds sizzle to romantic chemistry. But weeks or months later it's also natural for your warts-and-all self to show up - which can lead to that "what was I thinking?" moment - if the difference between the persona you presented initially and who you are when the infatuation stage cools is steep. Who are you and how do you behave when you think no one is looking? How closely does it match up with who you are when you first meet someone who makes your heart beat faster?</span></span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">2. We Lie to Ourselves </span></strong><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> More than 50% of us think we're better than average just about anything we're asked about. For example, 95% of a random group of professors surveyed said their teaching was better than the average and over 80% of a random sample of drivers claimed they were better than average drivers. This is impossible, of course, since "average" by definition is the midpoint below which half of a random group falls. Like the fictitious Lake Wobegon where "all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average", daters with normal or high self-esteem are also typically a little deluded about their own assets, which can fool them into thinking they deserve a better match than they've got.</span></span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Along with thinking you can do better than an average Joe or Jane you're more likely to look at a partner's faults than your own after a break-up (unless you have low self-esteem, which inclines you to do the opposite). Without meaning to, friends and family often become enablers. Hoping to be supportive, they reinforce your distorted beliefs by telling you how great you are and how you deserved better anyway. Maybe you did...but maybe you didn't. (See my earlier post on <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-in-limbo/200909/intense-sexual-chemistry-part-2" style="color: #980000; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank" title="Sexual Chemistry">Sexual Chemistry</a> that explains why you gravitate to people with the same level of psychological maturity (for better or worse)<br />
</span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To get a 360 view of yourself, ask for really honest feedback on your<a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/personality" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #980000; text-decoration: none;" title="Psychology Today looks at Personality">personality</a>, appearance and habits from people you trust that have your best interest at heart. Let them know you are prepared to take in the negatives as well as the positives (and make sure you <em>are</em> prepared before you ask). One caveat: some of your family and friends may be revealing more about themselves than you when they give you their opinions but if you gather enough data, you will begin to see some characteristics that are tough to deny.</span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">3. We Choose Junk Food and Junk Partners When We're Famished</span></strong><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> Everything at the grocery store or buffet table looks more mouthwatering and becomes more irresistible if you go when you're really hungry, so having a little meal beforehand can help stop you from eating too much stuff that's bad for you. Every guy or girl in a bar also looks and becomes more irresistible when you're <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/sex" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; text-decoration: none;" title="Psychology Today looks at Sex">sex</a> or relationship-starved. Deliberately limiting exposure to a human buffet when coming off a drought (such as military deployment, prison, recent <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/divorce" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; text-decoration: none;" title="Psychology Today looks at Divorce">divorce</a>, break-up or self-imposed celibacy) can also help keep you from making choices you regret later. This might mean staying away from bars and clubs altogether and socializing in groups of friends that include new people, or going to a club with a buddy who makes sure you don't drink too much or leave with someone other than him or her. This is one of the reasons it's also a good idea to consciously limit how much time you spend, and the level of sexual contact you have with a new love interest - even if (especially if) you think they're amazing.</span></span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">4. Our Present Scenery Messes With Our Predictions of Future Satisfaction </span></strong><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> In an interesting study students were asked to estimate how much they thought they'd like a bag of potato chips that was placed front of them. Then they ate the chips and rated how much they actually liked them. Some students made their estimates in a room that also contained appetizing foods like chocolate bars while others guessed in a room with less appealing stuff like sardines and Spam. (They assumed the Spam was less appealing but I personally would take one of those Hawaiian Spam Musubi treats over chocolate any day. But I digress). Although no one was told to consider the other items in the room, the students in the "Spam room" predicted they would like the chips much more than the ones in the "chocolate room" did. How much they actually liked the chips was not affected by spam versus chocolate surroundings. The study's authors concluded: "We use different rulers for experiencing and prediction. Forecasters overestimate the extent to which they will be able to think about what they did not get while experiencing what they got."<sup>1</sup></span></span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></sup></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The same contextual distortion and poor "<a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/affective-forecasting" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #980000; text-decoration: none;" title="Psychology Today looks at Affective Forecasting">affective forecasting</a>" can happen if you scan a roomful of singles while deciding whether to go out with the one that's making a move on you. In a room full of Spam the woman in front of you might seem more delicious than she actually is and set you up for that "what was I thinking?" moment down the road. In a room full of chocolate, you might pass over a perfectly scrumptious man because he seems deceptively dull by comparison. Speed daters beware.</span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/morality" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #980000; text-decoration: none;" title="Psychology Today looks at Morality">moral</a> of the story is twofold. Don't beat yourself up too much for making some funky relationship decisions. It's part of being human. But keep some of these typical tendancies in mind next time to help you look a little further before you leap.</span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This article was written by <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal;">Linda Young, Ph.D. and was taken from<a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-in-limbo/201012/4-reasons-smart-people-make-stupid-dating-decisions" style="color: #980000; text-decoration: none;">psychologytoday.com</a></span></span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #c4c4c4; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Morwedge, C. K., Gilber, D. T., Myrseth, K. O. R., Kassam, K.S., & Wilson, T. (2010). Consuming experiences: Why affective forecasters overestimate comparative value. <em>Journal of Experimental Social Psychology</em>, 46 (6), 986-992</span></div></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-58585608651476294392011-01-05T04:44:00.001-08:002011-01-05T04:44:46.369-08:00Do the Character Traits That Make Me a Good Friend Make Me a Bad Dater?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.accessrx.com/blog/files/media/image/Dr.%20Cannon%20Women-Therapist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.accessrx.com/blog/files/media/image/Dr.%20Cannon%20Women-Therapist.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
As I <a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/persistence-during-courting" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">mentioned yesterday</a>, I'm working on a book about literature and love that is due to come out in January 2012. But my first deadline is November 15 — I have to hand in about a quarter of the book on that day — and as that date approaches, I've started to worry that I'll never get all the necessary work done by then. As a result, I've decided I need to stop responding to email almost immediately (as I am wont to do) and to instead let a good bit of time go by before I respond to certain notes. Because the more quickly I respond, I've noticed, the more email I get! </span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">That, of course, got me thinking: Are some of the personality traits that make me a good friend inadvertently making me less attractive to men?<br />
</span></span><br />
<div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><strong style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">TRAIT #1: Being polite, reassuring, and prompt when it comes to communicating.</strong><br />
But it's my natural instinct to respond FAST to email notes, particularly when they're from my friends, because often they contain questions — sometimes anxious ones — and I always want to set my friends (and everyone else, within reason) at ease. It's my nature to be polite, comforting, reassuring. (In this modern age, however — a period of time when I receive tons of messages from all sorts of people, including the wonderful readers of my blog — it can be quite time-consuming to respond to everyone.) </span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">But I've noticed that my tendency to respond to emails with speed and thoroughness isn't always the best tactic in the realm of dating. Though I tend to think it's best not to play games — and I think that <a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/persistence-during-courting" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">men who do</a> often end up being assholes who aren't worth anyone's time — I'm also aware that taking things slow, or playing up the natural tension of a courtship, can be advantageous. </span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><strong style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">TRAIT #2: Being a good amateur shrink.</strong><br />
One of the other things that I like to think makes me a good friend is my ability to draw people out. I'm naturally curious about other people's emotions and experiences, so I tend to ask a lot of questions — and whenever I'm one-on-one with a person, I probably enjoy listening more than talking (even if I can be something of a raconteur in a group situation). Most people — and certainly women — like finding a person whom they can confide in.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">I have often wondered, though, if men on dates think good listeners are pushovers or doormats. I think men, when looking for girlfriends, like women who are a little more conversationally rambunctious — hyper, even. Sure, when I make conversational room, on a date, for a man to talk about all his deep stuff, he almost always <em style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">does</em> it, but I think sometimes he can regret it — or else feel like the conversation was a little dark or depressing. And I think that just as much as <a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/psychological-ways-to-turn-men-on" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Sneaky Ways to Turn a Dude On">people on dates will mistake the adrenaline rush</a> they experience when doing something new or scary (like going on a roller coaster) for a rush of passion, I think men on dates can think that whatever feelings of sadness arose when they were talking about heavy things in their past weren't a result of those memories as much as a result of being around <em style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">me</em>!</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">So in recent years, I've done my best to avoid getting too deep on early dates — and frankly, I think it's worked in my favor. </span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><strong style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">TRAIT #3: Being particularly empathetic.</strong><br />
I'm also empathetic, which means I'm pretty good at putting myself in other people's shoes or imagining what kinds of things they're going through. There are obvious benefits to this. Most people really <a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/appreciation-and-understanding-in-relationships" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">appreciate being understood</a> .</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Unfortunately, it also means that sometimes I can make excuses for people's bad behavior — including guys who are being kind of distant or assaholic. ("Oh," I'll tell myself, "he's just overwhelmed at work!") And when someone is making too many excuses or extending too much forgiveness to someone, particularly in the early stages of a relationship, it's rarely a good sign. </span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">On the other hand, some of the traits that make me a good friend — I like to think I'm loyal, reliable, and good at communicating — will certainly play in my favor, relationship-wise. </span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 4px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Right?<br />
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This article was written by Maura Kelly and was taken from <a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/character-traits-in-friendships-and-dating">MarieClaire.com</a></span></span></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-27625868906992024492011-01-04T04:40:00.000-08:002011-01-04T04:41:18.130-08:00How to Stay Broken Up – Seven Tips to Make Your Breakup Stick<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="http://www.trendpk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/74c63c5ec0d91e8f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www.trendpk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/74c63c5ec0d91e8f.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ever had a breakup last weeks? Have you ever gotten back together with an ex more than three of four times?</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well if you haven’t, then you probably know someone who is notorious for dragging relationships on and on.<strong>Turns out, I am one of those people.</strong></span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For close to three years I managed to date the same two guys over and over again. I’d break up with one, then get back together with the other. That relationship would fizzle and then I’d find myself talking to the other one again.</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And on, and on, and on, and on.</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turns out neither one of these guys were “the one,” and after some major drama and putting thousands of miles on my car, I managed to put them both behind me. But not without learning some serious lessons first.</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As part of my incessant need to impart my dating wisdom on you, here are <strong>seven tips on how to make your break up stick</strong>. And yes, they are listed in order of importance.</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 – Don’t agree to “just be friends.” <em>Just don’t.</em></span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2 – If you run in the same circles (i.e., same job, clique, neighborhood, kickball team, etc), don’t drink together. I’m talking absolutely no alcohol at all. It might seem harmless to have one beer at your office party, but one beer leads to a shot to car bombs,� and then the next thing you know you’re sitting on his lap in the back of a cab on the way to the next bar…not that this has happened to me before or anything.</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3 – Go into your email contacts and change his name to “Do Not Read.”</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4 – Do not delete his number from your phone. Repeat, don’t delete him. Instead, change his name to “Do Not Answer.” If this doesn’t stop you from calling him or picking up his call, <strong>change his entry once again to read: “Sexually Transmitted Disease.”</strong></span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5 -You’re no longer friends on Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, Twitter, and any other social network you are a member of. I’m serious about this, <em>no exceptions.</em></span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6 – Sit down and write him a long letter that says everything you’ve ever wanted to say to him plus everything you have already said to him. The next night, sit down and write a list of the top 10 things you don’t like about him. Now, take both pieces of paper and rip them up and throw it all away. Don’t give them to him, he doesn’t need to see it. <em>This is your closure.</em></span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7 – Fill your days and nights with distraction. Train for a marathon, join a book club, take a class, get a part-time job, write your memoirs, try speed dating. Do everything you can think of to keep your mind occupied.</span></div><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t waste years on someone you aren’t meant to be with. Sure, you’re passing the time, but while you’re “passing time” the right guy is out there not knowing you’re available.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This article was taken from <a href="http://www.datingtales.net/2009/05/how-to-stay-broken-up-seven-tips-to-make-your-breakup-stick/">datingtales.net.</a></span></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-65018561654986565252011-01-03T04:49:00.000-08:002011-01-03T04:49:57.920-08:00Why Guys Dump Girls They Dig<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIIKl0onlT2C2tie_qcZtor1qUQjcUZGRq_PqKHoKZyMTH_uGpqJj81Lb3wLnVAOhn_Mh1Vt5DUOx4rjdhxPqbuRzAnF5s7qKbZsqKx2gJIL3vgBqav9Iq-5iouOLHZivl9rwSImLosCs/s1600/Up+in+the+Air+Text+Message+Break+Up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIIKl0onlT2C2tie_qcZtor1qUQjcUZGRq_PqKHoKZyMTH_uGpqJj81Lb3wLnVAOhn_Mh1Vt5DUOx4rjdhxPqbuRzAnF5s7qKbZsqKx2gJIL3vgBqav9Iq-5iouOLHZivl9rwSImLosCs/s400/Up+in+the+Air+Text+Message+Break+Up.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><b><br />
The Timing Is Off</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Chances are, you've had at least one breakup that left you wondering, "What the hell just happened?" The guy dug you, you dug him, and the whole thing felt destined for a fabulous future — at least the foreseeable one. Then, out of nowhere, he bailed on the relationship. So what went wrong? The sad truth is, maybe nothing. Here are five completely ridiculous reasons guys kick you to the curb. Warning: For the most part, it ain't pretty.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Women get serious when they meet the right man. Men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we're finally ready to settle down. That means after every other aspect of our life is in order — whether it's finishing grad school, finally pulling down a good-size paycheck, owning a car outright — or when our friends start dropping like flies (that's guyspeak for getting married).</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">But if you catch a guy before he hits that magical stage of his life, then he's liable to bolt — like Patrick,* 28, who dumped Bridgett after two years, then got engaged to the next girl he dated after only 10 months. "When I was with Bridgett, all of my friends were single and I was still an intern with nothing going on in my career. So every time she'd bring up our future together, it felt like she was jumping the gun," he says. "I didn't break up with her because she was wrong for me. I ended it because I didn't want to commit to anyone right then. But by the time I met Elizabeth, I was in a settling-down frame of mind."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"> </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>We're Not Finished Playing the Field</b><br />
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Men are natural-born one-uppers. If there's a possibility of upgrading what we already have for something better (that'll make our friends drool), we say, bring it on! So we wind up always wondering if you're really as good as it gets. (I know, scumbag mentality.) "Whenever I meet a new hot chick, I consider what it would be like to date her, even if I have a girlfriend at the time," says Andy, 30. "The grass is always greener. No matter how great his current girl is, a guy doesn't want to feel like he's missing out." </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In addition to our opportunistic tendencies, most guys feel compelled to put as many sexual conquests under their belts as possible. "I admit it — I know the exact number of girls I've slept with, no mental calculation required," says Dan, 29. "That's how aware I am of how many notches I have. And I'd never commit until I felt like I'd experienced enough different women." Every guy's definition of enough is different, so there's a chance he wrote you off just because you didn't come late enough on his own personal hit list. The moral of the story: Until we grow up, mark everything off our sexual checklists or have too many friends convince us that we can't do better than you, the flight risk is real.<br />
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<b>We're Fixated on the Worst-Case Scenario</b><br />
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From the times you chastise us for leaving a wet towel on the bed to those nights you rip through a pint of fudge ripple without stopping to breathe, we file each incident in a mental folder labeled Evidence She'll Change for the Worse. We flip through that file whenever we're trying to decide if we want to hang on to the relationship. Blame our married friends who took the plunge before us, but many single guys are hyperaware of what could go wrong down the road. Even if we're crazy about you now, we panic that you'll pack on the pounds, want sex only once a month and nag us day and night. So we secretly flag certain things we're scared might be a harbinger of bad things to come. "I've seen it happen to too many of my friends," says Elliot, 29. "All they do is bitch about how the sex takes a total nosedive after they get serious with a girl. So sometimes, even if the woman I'm dating is a horny little minx, I freak out and bail."<br />
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<b>We're in Like, Not in Love</b><br />
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It's harsh but true. In fact, it's probably the most common reason we bolt. Just because a guy likes you a lot isn't a guarantee that it will evolve into love. And we're surprisingly intuitive when it comes to figuring out a girl's potential on this front. "I stayed with one woman for two years because the sex was great and she never pushed the issue, but I knew the minute I met her that she wasn't The One," says David, 30.<br />
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So why do we invest any time in a relationship that we know will ultimately end? Because we're able to live in the moment for a while and chalk it up to a good experience. But once you show that you're way more into us than we are into you, we'll dump you out of guilt. "I dated this girl for about a year, but as soon as she started using the L word, I had to end it," recalls Jay, 29. "It was hard. I cared about her and didn't want to hurt her. But I knew that if I stuck around, she'd have been happier at first but miserable later on. After all, she deserved to be with someone who loved her as much as she loved me.<br />
<br />
<b>We're Too into You</b><br />
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Just when you thought it was all bad news, here's a hard-to-fess-up admission: Guys are protective of their emotions. Translation: We're scared shitless of being hurt. So, if we start to feel like we're getting into a situation where we'll be destroyed if you dump us, we might launch a preemptive strike and yank the plug first. For Gary, 27, showing his girlfriend of two years the exit felt like the only choice. "She was the first girl I was serious with, and I didn't like letting someone have that much power over me. I was starting to feel emotionally needy, and that was uncomfortable for me," he recalls. "So I ditched her to save myself!"<br />
<br />
Sounds crazy, but cut us some slack. Think about how vulnerable and paranoid you feel when you're nuts about a guy, and realize that we go through the same thing with girls we really like. But our friends aren't as good at helping us get over an ex as yours are, plus being openly heartbroken makes us look like wusses. Nope, it's better to act like a winner before you turn us into a loser, which is when our natural self-preservation may come into play. Before the real humiliation and pain assail us like a plague, ending the relationship seems like a good option.<br />
<br />
<b>Are You About to Be Jilted?</b><br />
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<b>Signs that your man's getting ready to bail</b> </span></span><br />
<li style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>His cell phone is always off.</b> He might be spending time with someone he doesn't want you to know about...or he just doesn't want to make himself available.</span></li><br />
<li style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>He's reluctant to make plans.</b> If he hems and haws about committing to anything — even if it's in the semi-near future — he's thinking about making a break for it.</span></li><br />
<li style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>He's meaner.</b> The passive-aggressive breakup is a guy standby. Some men intentionally turn into a-holes to make sure you break up with them.</span></li><br />
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: bold;">He's not into sex.</b><b> He doesn't want to feel connected to you — or he's getting his needs filled somewhere else</b><br />
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This article was taken from CosmoOnline, read more by clicking <a href="http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/guys-dump-girls">here</a>.</span></li>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-34128781486295704062010-12-30T04:30:00.000-08:002010-12-30T04:34:28.128-08:0010 Ways to Tell He's Not Into You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://dragonstarriders.net/admitting-your-an-asshole1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="221" src="http://dragonstarriders.net/admitting-your-an-asshole1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In her new book <a href="http://productsearch.barnesandnoble.com/search/results.aspx?WRD=toxic+men+10+ways+to+identify+deal+with+and" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"><i>Toxic Men</i></a>, body language expert, Lillian Glass, PhD, reveals the ten moves guys subconsciously send when they're just plain not interested. Never waste another minute on that dude who's actually into your roommate!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's face it, guys send a lot of mixed signals. But instead of getting frustrated trying to decode what he's saying, texting, or IM-ing (ugh!), just focus on what his body's telling you. These 10 signals will let you know when a guy's just not feeling it...</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>1.</strong> He leans his body away from you, whether he's sitting or standing.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>2.</strong> He fidgets by rocking back and forth, shaking his foot, or tapping his finger.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>3.</strong> He backs away when you attempt to move closer to him.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>4.</strong> He crosses his arms over his torso with his hands on opposite shoulders.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>5.</strong> His feet point in the opposite direction that yours do.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>6.</strong> He keeps his palms down when he speaks to you and gestures towards himself, not you.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>7.</strong> His muscles seem tense or stiff, not relaxed.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>8.</strong> He keeps breaking eye contact with you to look at someone or something else.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>9.</strong> He doesn't look at you straight on — instead, it's from the side.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>10.</strong> If he smiles at all, it's tight-lipped.</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*Yeah, we know, it's a bummer when he's not interested in someone as fabulous as you. What's his problem, right? But look at it this way — better to figure it out sooner, before you waste an entire night talking to him, wondering if he's going to ask for your number. Instead, use these cues, and if it's not going to happen with him, spend your time and attention on another worthy guy. <a href="http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/body-language/" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Click here</a> for the signs he IS into you...</span></div><div style="clear: right; height: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 10px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Excerpted from <i>Toxic Men</i>, Copyright © 2010 by Lillian Glass. This article was taken from <a href="http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/ways-to-tell-he-is-not-into-you">Cosmonline.com</a></i></span></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2611317618906303142.post-88642821188654859492010-12-29T05:47:00.000-08:002010-12-29T05:48:38.594-08:00Ten Rules To Dating Everyone Should Know<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'normal Arial', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><a href="http://images.askmen.com/dating/keywords/dating-rules_965787.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images.askmen.com/dating/keywords/dating-rules_965787.jpg" /></a></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As we get older, the rules change. We go from "Never talk to strangers!" to "Always talk to strangers. This is a top 10 list of the rules to dating. Now, these rules are only more of a comprehensive breakdown of the first steps of dating, but if you apply them, you will put yourself into many more positions to get actual real life dating field work. </span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Don’t Be Afraid To Approach</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are so many people out there who are so scared to say “Hi” to someone that they miss a million opportunities a day. If you don't say something to the guy or girl you see, you may never ever meet that person again. If you just say “Hi” and get to talking, you never know, you just might swap phone numbers and they could be the man or woman who was actually meant for you. The average person only meets 6 people in their entire life that they actually develop relationships with. If you go out for one week and say “Hi” to someone new once a day, you're going to almost double that figure.<br />
Go out there, have the confidence, start approaching.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. Meeting Someone Doesn't Mean You're Dating.</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Going out and being friends with someone doesn't mean it will be a relationship. It is a great thing to just get used to talking to people. Go out there add people to your life.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Increase Your Opposite Sex Social Life.</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We have an easy time relating to our own sex. After you leave high school, college, it becomes more difficult to meet people of the opposite sex. Sometimes the work place isn't really a good idea. Invite people on the street out if you meet them. “Hey, there's a wine tasting party I’m going to, you should tag along…”</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Don't Over Invest Initially.</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't go too far out of your way to show them how good you are, or to help them with their life. Set some ground work. Set an even level field. You can be taken advantage of in this situation if you aren’t careful.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Touching Is Incredibly Important.</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you haven't touched the other person once, the first kiss will be awkward. You want to avoid bad touches. prolonged creepy touches. Occasional touches, to emphasize a point, a brush on the arm when telling a joke. Create comfort. </span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6. Get Someone To Talk About Their Actual Life.</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Surface conversation is stuff we talk about all the time. Our day, our work, our job, our pets. this is the same rubbish conversations we have with everybody. Try to get deep down talk about ambitions in life. How they feel about what’s coming along in life. Get them to open up and talk about themselves on a deeper level with you. The more comfortable they are in doing this, the more likely they will become attracted to you. We all know those people who "They can sit down with anyone and after 10 minutes know someones life story." These are the people to imitate. Find them, learn from them. </span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">7. Handle The Logistics.</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have things organized. Know where you're going before you go out. You don't want to stand in the rain for tickets for an hour. Remember to have condoms next to the bed if the situation would possible present it self.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">8. Low Pressure Dates.</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't make it seem like its the intro to a big relationship. (think of your own experiences) Keep it light and fun and flirty. Maybe have a coffee, quick ice cream and then pop off. It's always better to leave them wanting more than have them bored and looking for the door. An activity is always something better than sitting in a theater for 2 hours not talking. Anything fun, short and quick. Don't give the idea you're looking for a full on relationship on the first date. This creates discomfort, and makes you seem like you're working to hard. </span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">9. Don't Create Awkward Situations.</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It can be really easy to misinterpret a situation and bring things to an awkward situation. Relax, take things easy. If it gets a bit odd, you can say “I like you but not in that way”. Beat them to the punch. Keep the upper hand. If things don't work out, you can always be friends. Who knows you may end up dating one of their friends. You don't always have to go with the first person you meet.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">10. Don't Worry About Any One Individual Person. (MOST IMPORTANT)</strong></span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your ideal person <strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">IS</strong> out there. If things aren't going well with someone early on, they're obviously not the right one. The population of the world is about 6.7 billion. We're lucky enough to be able to treat life like a video game. If you fail, you just hit the button and start again. Opportunities are endless. So get out there, try new things and have fun with it. </span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Best of luck,</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Mark Lee</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For more dating and relationship advice from Mark, please visit http://www.MADEducation.com </span></div>The Master Daterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00046712152951236383noreply@blogger.com0